Of leadership course, and a lil bit of emo thingy..

Question: what do you do with someone who does not like you and tempts you to feel the same way towards him/ her? You obviously don't wanna get in a mess with that person, but because of his/ her shown 'attitude', you feel like smacking that person on the face? Is it worth it?

Well, I was in this leadership program a few days ago. A good program for my inner growth definitely. Learnt a few useful things that I could do to better up my self-reflection, judgment, decision and action. We watched a movie titled "The Peaceful Warrior" on the 2nd night there.. and obviously we had to pick up a few things in the movie related to what we have learnt in the previous sessions. The movie was superb! I wish I could discover my Socrates like Dan did. It was a mind-opener..

There was one particular line in that movie that made me laugh about myself: "Life is a mystery, don't waste time figuring it out".

Well, I DO waste a lot of time thinking about life's mystery, haha. Why? Ntah, I just like to. Maybe it's nice to blog about what others don't really think of kan.. hehe, poyo. And sometimes, thinking about life helps me to widen life choices, mend heartbreaks, change my perspective... But yeah, at times, my mind is too cluttered I get agitated when my family asks me about my weekend plans for wedding preparation. Sigh.. kerana jarang ada plan pun! Wedding kan lambat lagi.. ceyy, alasan!

At this point of time, I feel my life has less meaning than before. I don't know why suddenly I feel that. Perhaps because I don't have that many activities outside work hours. Plus the really hot day-time.. that adds to the lazy feeling definitely. Ah, I'm definitely thinking about some kinda reunions or catching up with old friends.. or hanging out at some coffee house with my sibs.. but it all ended up as plans.. plans not realized! Cis cos.

Oh well.. At least I am left with myself to reflect upon, and that's a lot of homework jugak!

Another day at the office.. and I'm off to Bintulu! Hopefully I will be able to meet my Uncle Shah there.. and ask him what's it like to be the new first man of ABF, huhu. Can't wait!

P/S: Maybe it is worth it to give a smack, but I would like to stay in my best senses.. and not to react to my anger.

Just some updates..

Although today is Saturday, but it feels like it's Monday tomorrow. Feels a little bit awkward with 3 days off. Anyway..

Yesterday, the UPU online result was announced, and Ozal got a place in UiTM Perlis. Well, my parents wished that he would get himself a place not too far from home. I guess after this my parents will be willingly happy to have outstations in the northern region to visit Ozal more frequently. Surely after this, our weekends won't be as cheerful as it is now.. We, especially Ain, will miss Ozal..

A few of Ozal's friends didn't get a place, and seriously I felt sorry for them. My mom is heavily bugged by the worried parents these few days, seeking for advice on their next step since their children didn't manage to get through, other than seeking for comfort. Well, kesian these parents.. cuz of their children didn't score in SPM, they had to find other ways to get them a place in some private college. Well, I guess the admittance criteria to universities are now getting stricter. During my time, even those who scored 2As could go to Matriculation. Now, I don't think so. Getting 10As also is not something extraordinary at all nowadays.. Oh well, I am glad I have passed through all that.

Fatin called me just now. One of the topics discussed was about Tomok's victory in last night's OiaM grand finals. I thought I was the only in my circle of friends who voted, but Fatin voted for Tomok even more okay! Haha.. I first voted YES for Aweera, and a few NOs for Esther (hehe, jgn marah aa.. tak minat Esther langsung!) and 3 YESes for Tomok. Fatin voted 15 YESes for Tomok alright! Way to go Tein.. =) All in all, Tomok won, and I really hope that he will make full use of his advantage being the champion, unlike Suki and Ayu, respectively being overtaken by Faizal Tahir and Shila, eventhough they were champions of the previous OiaMs. And I hope Aweera and Esther will make more fortunes after this, and that for Aweera not to go and collect tins to make ends meet. It was indeed a pity to be listening to those kinds of hard situations. Unimaginable. Seriously.

I will be back in Kertih on Monday. I suppose this "jumper"-type of life will not be relaxed so soon. Nevertheless, I guess it's okay, since there are not many important things to happen in May. Only a few family and friends' weddings to attend, but that will only be the activities during the weekends. Oh ya, some shopping for Ozal of course.

Thank God tomorrow's Sunday. I still have another day to lepak around.

What a great thing to end my 1st May!

I am soooo HAPPPYY!!! that Tomok is the champ of this season's OiaM!

Congratulations Tomok! You definitely deserve it!


To Aweera and Esther, congratulations also for the well-done performances. You guys definitely have a place in the music industry, cuz your talents are over the top!

Aaaa.. Can't wait to listen to Tomok's new single.. haha.. sure boleh jadi Juara Carta Era and Hot FM ni!

And.. guess what.. I voted, haha!

-from once-not-a-New Boyz-fan-

Who's the next one-in-a-million?

One of the TV shows I lately look forward to is One in a Million season 3 (haha!). Only this season that I get to follow quite a few episodes. The past two seasons, I only knew who won at the end of the competition. This time, I think what ignites my interest is watching two recording artistes - Amylea and Tomok - battling for that RM1 million - alongside Aweera, Esther and Nine.

It is actually easy to see who is at the top of the heart of the voters, and who's not. Anyway, that could just be my own judgment. Perhaps Malaysia will prove that thought as wrong. Hehe.

Okay, since I have time to waste tonight, I think it's fun to analyze the top 5 of this season's OiaM.

Amylea - seriously I wasn't a fan of her during her AF times. Furthermore, her songs in the radio, personally for me, aren't that melodic compared to, say, Mila and Stacy's. But in this program, she really proves herself to be more than just a singer. A true talent. It is really apparent that she just loves performing! Very natural. I should say, reinventing the songs that she chooses in her own ways, making them sound so.. Amylea! And I love it when she does it in Lily Allen's way. If her fan base is big enough, maybe she can win OiaM. I wonder if I were in this competition with her.. mau je surrender.. hebat sangat for an amature.


Tomok - well, I think we all must agree to one thing: that his female fans still love him! But surprisingly, he is a good performer too, just like Amylea, creative. Contradicting to the time when he was still with New Boyz.. you know, he sounded so dreary when he sang all those 'jiwang karat' songs. I was really surprised when he sang Beyonce's Crazy In Love.. boy, was that a great performance. I think if I was there as the audience, I would've get on my feet and dance along. Seriously, Tomok is a close competitor to Amylea. Although his vocals are not as 'whoa' as Rizu or Esther's, but he has made it to this point. And I think he has a big chance of winning, since his female fans will be more than willing to vote for him time and time again. If he wins, I hope he won't go back to singing 'Sejarah Mungkin Berulang' genre.. it would be a total waste of talent then..


Esther - my first impression on her: she looked older than she is actually. She may be plump, but I think she's really sexy when she does all that poses on the stage. Her plus point is when she sings ballads and jazzy sounds. But I think her performance last week was not so good. I have to agree with Paul that she overdid the 'Legenda' song. Nevertheless, she has lotsa fans back in her hometown I suppose.. so she might not be so threatened by Amylea and Tomok. We'll see if she makes it to Top 2.


Aweera -(Wa, he will add to the list of male rockers in Malaysia whose names start with 'A': Awie, Amy, Ali, etc.) Aweera is a good looking young man, definitely, equipped with ability to hit high rock-song notes. But this guy, agak 'control macho' sikit la. The thing is, he is not as musically versatile as Amylea and Tomok, in which he prefers to play it safe, having too little changes in the song arrangements. Oh well, it seems he has his own circle of fans (even the guys scream for him in the studio!), so I bet he'll be in Top 3, if luck is on his side.


And lastly, Nine - not my fave definitely. He is really lucky to still be in the running to get that RM1million. He usually picks Indonesian songs for his performances, which I think, somehow erodes his credibility in this competition. It seems that he seldom heeds the advice from Paul and Syafinaz. Vocals, not that improving, style more or less the same every week. I'm bored watching him! Last week, he was in the less-voted group, and his performance was messy too. So I guess he should be worrying about his next performance this Friday.

Who's my fave? I should say they are Amylea and Tomok. The only thing is that they are already recording artistes, and both of them has a few years of experience performing on stage, leaving the other three to be seen as total novice. Who do you choose Malaysians? Our second-chance-seeking celebrities, or the hopeful newbies? Well, all we can do is sit and watch (and also vote!) who will win the heart of the viewers :)

Hehe.. I only vote during elections.

Saturday night post

April has four important dates in my calendar: Ain's birthday on the 6th, my parents' anniversary on the 10th, and my beloved's birthday on the 14th. On this 25th, Ain will be called to the Bar, and she will officially be proclaimed as a lawyer. Congrats sis =) I'm so proud of you.

So far, I missed the earlier two, and I will miss this 14th too. So I am foreseeing a birthday card or a gift to be given away on a belated basis. I'm sorry sayang. Ain, I promise I will make it!

This month is a busy month for my family, and for myself definitely. Only in KL on weekends, and wherever-I-may-be on weekdays. Mak and Abah are going to do some traveling also. Abah with his regular outstation, and Mak will be interviewing students in some states too. Pity Ozal he has to stay at home. But it's good also for him to be around for a while, before he continues his tertiary education.

Okay. Enough of the minor updates there. Lately, I am quite disturbed with this annoying issue that my mom faces these few days. Since the university my mom works in is opening interview sessions for selected students, many of her acquaintances + relatives + friends + colleagues are asking her help to recommend their child/ nephew/niece to get a place in the varsity.

I won't take it as an issue if the candidates score fairly in SPM. But I don't think it is right if they were to be accepted based on some 'back-door' deals just because their parents/ uncles/ aunts have good contacts that can get them through. In fact, nobody with a clear mind will say it's valid to do so. Yeah, I understand that every parent wants their children to be educated, i.e. to attend university. But, with scores of mere 6Cs, 7Ds and 8Es, it will just give universities a bad name of taking bad students in. Quality should be the priority here.

Therefore, I wonder, how many of us actually did qualify for our tertiary education? Was it because of our own merits, or was it because our parents or acquaintances had the influence? If one has merits and influence, that is a double-bonus I suppose. But if it was based solely on the influence, then pardon me, we should be doubling our efforts because it was just a tick of luck for us to be given the opportunity. The reputation of getting a chance based on influence is definitely questionable.

Therefore, please, stop asking academicians that you know for the back-door ticket. It's too loathing, personally for me. It's not nice being granted an instant VIP pass. Every candidate should go through the same procedure of screening. You will know if you do well or otherwise..

Post yang tak penting

Sigh. I'm in Kerteh now. To give my exact location, I am at the hotel lobby.. since this is the only place in the hotel where I can have access to the hotel's pay-per-use wireless internet. Meaning.. mandi lambat la malam ni.. adeh. And whenever I'm outstation, small pimples will start to emerge near my eyebrow, and it kinda drove me crazy. I didn't bring my Nixoderm along.. so.. no quick remedy for the pimples for the time being.

Many of my friends are continuing the syndrom of tying-a-knot-when-you're-25 (Adzril & Shida, selamat pengantin baru!), and yeah, I am always excited interviewing those yang dah nak sampai seru. Seriously marriage stuff is the in-thing right now, haha. Marriage stuff as in not only the wedding preparation, but also in preparing ourselves for the marriage journey itself. Cita-cita kami nak menjadi isteri solehah la katakan. Whoa.. are we really adults now or what! Well, yeah, when I'm with my fiancé, I kinda feel a little bit grown-up. But I don't usually feel that when I am at home with my family. The feeling of "we're still mak and abah's babies" is still strong, and yes, my siblings and I still have that bear fight!

Oklah, saja merapu for this post. It's boring staying alone with no one to talk to.. (actually ramai je kat Kerteh ni nak ajak hang out.. tapi, hehe, saya tak suka menyusahkan orang, cewah!)

Sudahnya.. cakap dengan laptop je la ek. Oh ya, happy birthday Ain and Pur!

March final update

Hi people..~ (cey.. bajet ramai readers la eh.. haha)

Okay, so now only I have the chance to post something. March had its own mix of fun, sadness, busy-ness, though I was anticipating that this month would be a get-away month for me. Well, He has decided everything for me... and I just have to go through everything with an open mind and an open heart.

I spent the first week of March in Yangon. Yerp, I went there again with Wilson to complete additional work with Carigali Myanmar. This time, my journey was entirely hotel - office only. No shopping like my previous visit there. And also, because I was planning to shop-till-I-drop in Bandung, so I was trying to save more for the trip. And since the hotel already had wireless broadband connection, so staying in room after work was not as boring as the previous visit. Nevertheless, Wilson and I had the opportunity to try local mamak cuisine like roti prata and chicken curry (diorang guna ayam kampung ok. A bit liat la..). Well personally I think the roti tasted fine, I think even better than the mamaks in Shah Alam, but the curry... hmm, let's just say the taste didn't suit my tastebuds.

A day before leaving Yangon, Ain told me that Opah was admitted to the Ipoh General Hospital. I was actually feeling like going back to kampung for that long weekend. Well, that can be called as an irregular feeling cuz I have never driven alone to kampung without Abah and Mak. The end of the story.. you know what happened. But I'm glad Opah departed on a blessed day, 12 Rabiulawal.. Bless her soul.

On the 14th to 17th March, I went to Bandung as planned, with Fatin and her families. It was a great visit: The things I bought (I personally think) were the nicest things I can find for myself and everyone in my list, the Sundanese cuisine were also good, and I must say, the factory outlets there were great. Exquisite blouse designs, gowns and all... not to mention imitation version of branded handbags that looked original.. ah I wished I brought more money to spend. But I had this mindset before coming, to spend only for the things I wanted to look for. And yerp, I got myself what I wanted, with a little bit of overspending, haha. Never in my life have I experienced shopping-till-I-feel-like-fainting. Nope, not even during puasa time.

Apart from going for shopping, we managed to visit historical places like Dago Pakar, where the remains of the caves built by the Dutch and the Japanese located. We only entered the Japanese Cave (Goa Jepang in Indonesian) as we were exhausted upon reaching the Dutch Cave (Goa Belanda in Indonesian). Here are a few pics that were taken during the long walk.

Mak Ngah was explaining something while I was trying to listen closely. Firdaus was constantly checking his phone, if it got any roaming.

Jom masuk gua!


Daus, Fatin, Paklong, Maklong, Makngah, Fifi, myself and Kak La with her baby in front of Goa Jepang.

I couldn't agree more with this signboard. We should have signboards of the same meaning in KL, especially in Central Market area!

Alright, more pics, as usual, are uploaded in Facebook. Tomorrow's 1st April. Don't play pranks on your chums! Oh yeah, happy new financial year PETRONAS!

Requiem on her departure

There is much sorrow on her departure..

She wasn't the best grandma I have ever had,
But no one should say she didn't try
She was always there.. in times when we needed a hand..

She was a sturdy old lady..
Walking here and there was her regular routine
Perhaps because of that I always thought she'd be okay
And perhaps, because she said so..

Seeing her lying down on the bed unconscious
with her divided children by her side
was not the kind of sight that anybody would want to see
but then, I can do nothing
except prayed for this torture to not prolong..

Yesterday
she lost the battle..
perhaps that was the best for her
for there was no promised hope
that she could regain her strength like before..

Opah,
We will miss her
and the prayers gathered
will surmount the sorrow on her departure.
Innalillah..

Just regular issues..

I'm back in KL, but for just two days. It has been nearly 6 weeks of mobiling for work. Tiring, experience-gaining, competency-building, brain-wrenching, yes, very much close the aspiration of the company for young employees I suppose, haha. Oh well, I'm still alive, so yup, no reason of complaining. I love my job!

I can say for the past 1 week, I have not really flipped through the papers with much interest. Nothing that captured my attention of digging deeper into. Politics? Well, if the news is about resolving the current political disputes here and there, it would sound nice, but it seems that the political turmoil will continue to ride on the big waves. What more the misconducts of the two politicians? I'm loathed. Even though if eventually the reports may be untrue, I would still be loathed. As a result, I will usually skip the few front pages and look for the "letters from readers" column. Issues in the society. Worth reading.

Well, I don't mean to be ignorant. It's just that I am frustrated; which I am sure I am not alone to feel this. Everyday, sensational news on political problems take the centre stage. Or to be exact, MORAL issues of the politicians. Perhaps, there are more reports on immorality of the politicians to be revealed soon. Especially when it is time to lobby for votes to get a position.

Right now, there is rarely a report from the investment experts that Malaysia is able to endure the economic crisis. In times like this, I am convinced that many of us Malaysians are facing financial difficulties even more than ever. Retrenchments, VSS, and whatever more HR-related cost savings will just add pikes to the burdened economic scenario. No money, no spending. No spending, no money movement. No money movement, no encouragement on businesses. No business, raging downfall of KLSE. Falling of KLSE, our currency will be worsen..

Last two days, The MIX Breakfast topic was on "how do you Malaysians deal with the current economic situation". There were answers from the callers like "I don't have any savings, but it's okay cuz I'm still single" and "Well, I don't eat. Escaping meals seem to be the only way since I can't reduce expenses on other things". Both answers came from people with no commitment yet. But there was this particular caller whom I really felt sorry for. She was a single mother, with two kids to care for and to feed and to educate. She told the DJs that she really felt the pressure of the economic downturn on her. Prices of goods going up as usual, which means more expenses for the households. She felt sorry of not being able to fulfil many of her kids' wants and wishes, like buying new toys and going for holidays, because she couldn't afford to spend on the unnecessary things. There were a few times when she paused from talking, I suppose she was refraining from bursting into tears on air. I felt bad for her.

The price hike of the groceries makes me gulp. The toll fare rise makes me gulp. The drop of crude price makes me gulp. The political atmosphere makes me gulp. The drop of unit trusts prices makes me gulp. How can I sleep with mind's peace? How can we all sleep with mind's peace?

In times like this, it is not so nice of the governors of the nation to focus on their political dispute. If investors can express their doubt over Obama's ability to weather the American economic crisis despite the tremendous support given to him by the Americans, definitely we can doubt our not-so-credible governors' ability to better up the condition of Malaysian economy. Trying to fight graft, graft is worsening. Trying to fight recession, recession is worsening. "Oh well, if we know it never stops from worsening, we suppose there's nothing we could do.. but to sit down and hope everything will be okay.."

What do we have? Bad performing governors? You bet.

What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!!

(With lotsa love from Kerteh >_<)

Ok. Still, this post will not discuss about the thing I really want to talk about. But anyway, I think this matter is also something we should think about, so yerp, I wanna talk about this.

When something that happened didn't really go the way we wanted it to, it is easier for us to just blame other people for it. Why is it easier? Well, there might be a few answers to explain that.

1) We are just too lazy to dig into the real cause of the problem.
2) We always think that our records are too good until it is almost impossible to accept that we could commit mistakes at times. It's something like Frank Sinatra's My Way la.. "Regrets, I have a few.. but then again, TOO FEW to mention.. lalala.. I did it MY WAY~" Yerp.. no one can object your way.. huh.
3) We think we know it all, and that no one can satisfy our expectations and needs, except ourselves.
4) Wrong mood, PMS, wrong timing.. everything's wrong! So yerp, not in the mood to find our own mistakes.
5) Well, maybe it is really totally not our fault. The people around us are just being paranoid over a small matter.

Well, tonnes of reasons of course! Nevertheless I feel that it is not right to just close our eyes and ears from helping or being cooperative to solve things, even though we are not the cause of the problem. Pointing a finger towards others will result in our other fingers pointing at us (alright2, except for our thumb la..) In an argument, I think what matters more is not to win the debate, but more to finding the best solution for the argument, so that we won't lose our self-respect just to win the case.

Oh well, it's just a thought..

A: What's wrong with you??
B: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!! (Staring with enlarged eyes)
A: Nothing's wrong with me.. you're the one who started it!
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.. I wonder when the squabbling will end..