2013: It's a wrap

2013 will bid farewell in a day's time. Memang tahun ni rasa sekejaaaap sangat kan?

Fahim pun dah 19 days today. I'm recovering well from my delivery. That Tanamera postnatal care set is so good I'm enjoying every day of using the components included in it. Yep, and I highly recommend it to other mothers too!

Pengalaman bersalin kali ni is very different from my 1st. Fahim was overdued by 4 days from his EDD (mama ingat Fahim da taknak keluar2 dah.. lol. Rupa-rupanya dia nak keluar on 12/12) and he weighed 500 grams more than Zara did. This time around I would say I am better informed about natural way of delivery, all thanks to my colleagues especially Caah, being an advocate of natural delivery (that means no medical intervention during the  delivery at any stage). I thought I wouldn't be able to do it; that I would again depend on epidurals.  But I was wrong. I made it! I managed to give birth to Fahim through SVD (my impian throughout the pregnancy ok!). It felt great. I thought it would hurt like hell. But after all that I have been through, all I can say is that the pain is absolutely bearable. Not that I'm saying it's not painful; kena ketuk kepala pun sakit kan.. it's just.. bearable.  Bearable as in I can endure it again.

Besides the natural delivery I had, I think it wouldn't be possible without the understanding of my best-in-the-world gynae Dr. Idora. I gave her my birth plan at week 37 without much hope of exactly following every point that I requested (e.g. no epidurals, requesting to walk around before delivery, no episiotomy,  etc.).  When I got into the labour room, I lied down on the bed (not my preferred position. Sakit belakang gue!) and the nurses placed the baby heartbeat and contraction monitors on my belly. Dr. Idora came in and she said it was ok for me to remove the monitors and walk around. I came to the hospital with 4 cm dilation. And I gave birth in less than 3 hours after that. Yep, it was fast! What was even more flattering, one of the nurses asked me if I went to the hypnobirthing class, because I didn't utter a single word nor shout nor breathing heavily when I was pushing.  Kembaang seyhh :D

To mothers yang berimpian nak deliver naturally, I recommend you to see Dr. Idora. Not many gynaes I hear who would as best as possible try to adhere to the birth plan. Actually bukan tu je sebabnya why I like her very much. Nak cerita panjang pun tak guna kan. Just make an appointment with her and you'll know what I mean.

Pantai Hospital KL pun best. Well, maybe not the car park la kan, but the nurses made me feel comfy and taken care of.  We stayed at the hospital for 3 nights, in waiting for Fahim's jaundice report to come out.  Thank Allah he was alright.

Maybe giving birth to Fahim was the highlight for me this year (my highlight came a little late don't you think?) or should I call 2013 is my year of 'perut buncit'? Lol!

Zara, papa and I spent our 1st Jan 2013 in Yokohama, shopping. 1st Jan 2014, we will just be at my parents' home. My confinement's not over yet, remember?  Maybe we'll wait for the news on 31st December rally? Haha.

Hopefully in 2014 I'll have the chance to visit Japan again (I dunno why I like Japan so much) Haven't planned for our 2014 vacation yet. But trust me, 2014 is gonna be gloomy for Malaysians. I hope it's gonna be gloomier for those who voted in the name of stupidity and ignorance.

Ok, so here are a few happenings in 2013 that I will not forget:

1. Twice visiting Japan with my husband and Zara.
2. My husband caught fever during our summer visit to Japan.
3. Zara contracted scarlet fever during our family holiday in Bangkok. She was treated at Bumrungrad Hospital.  Thank Allah she wasn't admitted. We purchased new tickets to head back to KL the next day.
4. Fahim stayed in my tummy for extra 4 days, much in contradiction with my anticipation for his early arrival.
5. I missed my ACD this year. They postponed my assessment 5 times this year due to the reason of no assessor. The final date given is too near to my EDD. I have already requested for MC on my 38th week. I hate ACD. I really do.

I do look forward to the new year. I wanna promise myself that 2014 will be a year of rigorous travelling, more energy to accomplish the things I need to achieve, and that I will never lose sight of what is important.

And oh.. I look forward to holding our house warming (finally!!!) and many more vacations with my darling husband and 2 little ones.

Welcoming myself to the 3-series club. LOL!

Most valuable gift for 2013. Mirfahim Zuhri ^_^

Things lately..

I'm now in my 31st week of pregnancy, woohoo! Time sure does fly. And being in beyond 7 months means that I can't fly anymore.. so no more traveling for me. Sebenarnya bosan to be encumbered at the office and to finish out all the necessary KPIs. Just waiting for the time to take annual leave and focus on the arrival of the new baby.

Ok, so how different is this pregnancy compared to when I was carrying Zara?

Well, not much. Just that the habit during 1st trimester came back: bread-and-cheese based diet. I dunno why but the idea of eating rice is just a no-no for me right now. Bukan berlagak mat salleh ye. Ladies yang pernah pregnant sure tahu apa rasanya when it comes to refusing and favoring certain food.

Yesterday's check up, my baby is already 1.3 kg. I guess he'll come out about Zara's size.

The thing I'll do differently this time, I don't think I will wanna have vaccinations for my baby. I guess Zara was just lucky despite having a full vaccination. I know there are many opposing parents to this idea, but if you were to think (even just logically!), looking at the ingredients of the vaccines is enough to stop us stop vaccinating our babies. Like hey, say I am feverish, and I am introduced to this medicine. The contraindications say I would likely get an asthma attack (if I were a sufferer, which I am!), a sudden whooping cough and possible migraine. I would say 'to hell with that medicine'!

As parents, are we even told of the vaccines brands that enter our hopeless babies' bodies? No. No doctors even bother to tell us. Not even how to administer the babies after the shots. Have we ever wondered why?

I would strongly recommend parents out there to do their research on this. Taking my words only is not sufficient; it can only induce your inquisitive mind. But trust me, the hard facts are out there; tonnes of them! Check them out. Be an informed parent.

 

The only thing undone right now is to secure cord blood banking for the baby. I did it for Zara with Cryocord. I am still unsure whether to do it with Cryocord again this time (no problem on the service, they are just fine). It's just that I wanna know if there's new technology or new benefits introduced by either Cryocord or other competitiors like Stemlife, so that I can make the most out of my investment.

 

  

 Which to choose.. Cryocord or Stemlife?

What about Zara? Zara is progressing well in reading ABCs and 123s.. and the fact that she recognizes colors, being able to construct simple sentences and distinguishing the alphabets correctly simply awed me. I mean, yeah I know she can sing the ABC song really well, but to the extent of recognizing the individual letters.. that's a wow for me. Just that, lately she likes to play at the children playground in front of the house, which is much to my disliking. Yeah I know playing is a normal work for children. But the fact that the playground is always swarmed with big boys and aggressive children (and not to forget mosquitoes!) I rather distract her doing something else.

 Haih, Zara.. Zara.. you're going to be a sister soon!

Oh yeah, did I mention that she even calls herself 'kakak' now. Well, not really 'kakak'.. more like 'tatak'.. haha. Pelat K.

Soon we're gonna get our new set of curtain for the living hall.. and we're soo excited! Yeap, home improvement at its best ehh.. haha. 

 We feel bored of the striped curtain. Haih.. housewarming pun belum buat lagi okay!

HomeDec at KL Convention Center's gonna arrive soon. From 17th - 20th Oct (Part 1) and 24th - 27th Oct (Part 2). Kalau rajin jom la check it out!

Bijak Malaysia.. yang tak bijak sangat kot?

Today I was approached by an insurance agent from CIMB,  promoting Insurans Bijak Malaysia.

I spared some time listening (like I always do!) and yeah.. gradually I became interested. . Huhu. Benci betul weakness yang satu ni.

But seperti biasa, before making any decision, I consulted my hubby-know-it-all to ask for his opinion. He asked if we could talk about it after we got back home. 

So.. I spared some time in the office to find out about this insurance scheme. So I bumped into this blog. Nasib baik jumpa this blog, seriously. Kerana, if I were to sign up for the Bijak Malaysia insurance policy,  berkecailah my endeavor to ensure my money goes into syariah-compliant channels.

Ok, so balik ni tak payah cerita langsung about thinking to get Bijak Malaysia insurance policy.  It is indeed a waste when we claim that we are a Muslim country,  but government tak berapa berusaha to make their investment products and plans for the rakyat all syariah compliant.

So, Sharifah,  sila berfikir lagi ke mana duit perlu dilaburkan.. haihhhh.. make sure syariah compliant ye!

Where to eat in Japan?

Actually, the thinking to blog about this post has been quite a while in my head. Tapi kerana masa yang mencemburui (cewah), maka hasrat itu sering terbantut.

Anyway, I dedicate this post to my colleague Alina who is going on her 3-weeks trip to Japan with her Mom and 2 kids. 

I shared the same anxiety like she does when I was about to leave for Japan. No idea about Japan apart from the ideas embedded in my head by my mom about her experience in Japan. Apprehensive about Papa taking care of Zara alone, apprehensive of what to eat there, concerned about the cold weather, etc. But when I was there for a couple of months, seriously I can't find anything to dislike about Japan (have I said it before? Haha!). In fact, Zara didn't have any coughing/ cold/ fever whatsoever when she was there. Perfectly healthy. Balik Malaysia je start.. batuk la, selsema la.. sampai mama pun berjangkit! Boleh rasa the difference in air quality. Cian anak mama.. Malaysia memang makin tak best kan..? (ok la habis la kena kutuk tak patriotik)

Ok. So, what to eat in Japan?

Seriously speaking, I have never suffered the scenario of "tak cukup makan" in Japan. Asyik nak makan ada la kot, haha! If we Malaysians think there is a huge abundance of food in Malaysia, in Japan it seems as twice as much. There are plenty of bakeries, a variety of Asian and European cuisine, lots of cafes to chill in, apart from their homegrown restaurant brands.

The easiest place to buy food (I think!) would be the convenience store. They are easily available wherever we go in Japan. And I always go for these 2 things:

 Egg sandwich. The best ever. Priced around 190-240 Yen. Takkan dapat la kat Malaysia egg sandwich of this quality. Eggs sold in the markets pun sangat bersih. No traces of najis ayam whatsoever. Japan is amazingly conscious about cleanliness. Another fact that made me feel Malaysia tak best.

Onigiri. This is tuna onigiri. It's actually a handful of sticky rice shaped into a triangle, stuffed with tuna. Of course there are other varieties but since we can't eat meat there, tuna is the easiest option. Very cheap.Zara loved this very much.

Other restaurants that we dined in:

 

 Shagorika, an Indian restaurant in Asakusa, Tokyo. 

The curry was heavenly. A must visit if you're nearby the temple area

Hubby, the co-star of my blog in front of the restaurant. Shagorika Asakusa.

Saizeriya chain restaurant. This one was in Asakusa. Very affordable western cuisine (compared to other restaurants offering about the same menu). Only that the portion of the meal is not that big. But we can always order more because it's very affordable.

 

At the cashier of my fave pizza place: Garlic Jo's Queens Shopping Mall, Yokohama

 And not only their pizza tasted great, this fried rice with prawn was a masterpiece too! Memang benchmark nasi goreng dah totally increased ni.

 A halal Nepali restaurant at Queens Shopping Mall too. Khazana. Loved the food and the staff cuz they are very friendly!

This is Delhi Dining, located at Nihon Odori/ Motomachi Chukagai area in Yokohama, which also offers halal food. I think the briyani here was the best among all mamak/ indian cuisine restaurant that I've been to. A bit pricey than Khazana, but it was worth it!

Dining at 105 yen sushi shop. Sounds cheap eh? But the taste wasn't. The salmon sushi with wasabi and avocado just melted in our mouth like mmmmm... heaven!

And, when we were totally clueless on what to eat, McDonald's Ebi (Prawn) Burger can do no wrong. 

Other places to try:

Ginza Tenkuni (Japanese food)
Vie de France (Bakery)
Pompadour (Bakery)
Stone Cold Creamery (Ice cream parlor)
Tully's Coffee (alike to Starbucks)

There are many more that I would like to list. But I guess when you're there, you can explore for yourself where to eat, maybe even better than we did. Anyway, we Muslims shouldn't worry much about food when traveling to Japan. Maybe we'll miss our nasi lemak and roti canai, but we definitely won't starve.

I miss Yokohama.. very much!

Japan: I'm lovin' it!

Hi, happy 2013 everyone!

Japan is my mom's most frequently-visited country during her tenure with the ministry that she worked with many years back. Many good stories about Japan that my siblings and I heard from her; the cleanliness, the culture, the manners, etc. Being in Japan now feels like I am actually witnessing what mom narrated. And yep, I must say, I still can't find anything that makes me dislike Japan. Or simply, I love Japan!

(But of course, I still miss KL though.. hari-hari baca Beautifulnara and Malaysiakini dan berwhatsapp with my officemates, haha! Bengong..)

One of the things I like to do when I'm out to travel is observing the city's men and women. They like to dress up everyday wherever they go. Be it to the office (very contrary to us working in Dayabumi! haha), to the cafe, to meet up with friends (I know la sebab it's really nice to lepak at cafes here in Yokohama). In this cold season of winter, people here dress up in their smart (and not to mention, expensive looking!) coats and jackets, ladies complete with tights, high leather boots and designer handbags. Oh, did I mention that ladies here love LV? Yeah, they love LV until LV Neverfull Tote becomes a common eyesight everywhere I go. Ok ok, yeah I know LV Neverfull is not that expensive compared to other LV handbag models. But I'm not saying they only wear Neverfull. Spesis LV that I have not seen yet (but memang cantik gila!) are carried around too. And there are some who don Hermes leather bag too! Ok la, I haven't seen anyone showing off their Birkin bag yet, but hey, Hermes is expensive! Way more than LV I think.

Coach? Like everybody has a Coach bag here in Yokohama. Seriously. So macam tak payah bangga sangat la if you bring your Coach bag here.

But the bags prices are not cheap here in Japan you see. They cost like four times the price you can get in Malaysia. But since nearly everyone wears designer handbags, you can't help but to follow the trend.

So, in short, I think Japanese men and ladies invest a lot in taking care of their appearance. 

This lady in LV Neverfull Monogram. I prefer Damier Ebene better (wahh, kalau la boleh jawab soalan ACD macam ni punya hafal, sure lagi naik pangkat. Isk!)

Due to the fact that they are conscious about their appearances, that would mean they shop a lot! Yes, from what I see, no matter how many shopping malls there are, they will be swarmed by customers, even on off-sale time (kalau sale apatah lagi kan!) Well, pictures speak a thousand words, don't they?

This was during New Year's sale. Huge crowds swarmed the shopping complexes in Yokohama.  Depan tu lagi ramai.

Haha, Zara and I did our shopping as well! Sogo here is not like Sogo in Jalan TAR ok. This Sogo sells stuff like Suria KLCC does. But no matter which shopping mall I go, be it high end or not, the salesperson will always welcome you with a smile and a very courteous way of saying "Welcome". Bukan macam those in Suria KLCC! Selalu sakit hati with the gestures of Isetan salespeople. 

.. And I got myself this! Besides another Furla and a Longchamp :D

Of course, Japan will well known for their cleanliness. And it is NOT a myth. Addition to them being clean, is that they innovate to make life easier for their people. Take for example, the toilet control:

The toilet in my hotel room. Look at the controls they install. Free odor, warm seat (cool, huh), bidet water pressure. Memang innovative! The toilets at the office even have this gadget to give the sound of flushing if you don't want people hear you do your 'business'. Uber cool. Well, guess I'll miss this when I'm back in KL. Arghh.

Another things that I like about the Japanese, is that they like to bring their kids out. There are plenty of good places for family outings (the parks, the zoos, the museums, etc.) and even in this cold weather, they still enjoy the company of their children. Yep, moms here breastfeed alright, and it's hard to find moms who are flabby! Most I've seen have slender legs, very slim figure. Is it because of their diet, or is it because of their confinement discipline? I don't know, but I take it a s a good example for me to follow, haha.

In Disneyland Tokyo. Look behind me - strollers and kids and parents. They love going for outings.

What about the food? Well, not really a problem for a Muslim like me. But that will be another long post to write about. Well, I have to end here. Zara's about to wake up anytime soon. Better get ready before she starts crying looking for me.

Til another post~ Nytes :)
 

2012: A Summary

Oh boy.. we are going to welcome the new year again. Looks like I'll be celebrating the new year (and my birthday in January!) here in Japan. Kinda looking forward for it anyway ;)

2012, I'm about to bid you farewell soon..

This year has been a busy year at work. This year too, witnessed the departure of my most-missed grandmother (I just had a dream about her last night.. sigh.. I miss her to the bone..)

Zara has been busy following me every where I travel, along with her Tok Ma, Maktok, Tok Abah and her aunts. Looks like I should consider having her own Enrich card soon, muahaha. So far I'm okay with it.. for right now, she is still breastfeeding. If I'm not yet pregnant again, I would like to just continue to breastfeed her. 

 Zara's 1st travel to Miri during her 6th month.. hasn't stopped traveling ever since..

Did I ever mentioned that I am spendthrift this year? I really don't know what got into me, but I just can't resist shopping. Here are the things I got for myself:
3 Kate Spade handbags, 3 Coach handbags, 2 Coach backpacks, a Coach wristlet, 2 Furla handbags, 2 Furla wristlets, a Furla lanyard, a Ferragamo handbag, 2 Longchamp handbags, a Longchamp backpack, a MBMJ handbag and Ipad case, a handbag from Michael Kors, a bag from UCB and a backpack from Guess. 

 This is just a few pieces of my entire collection.. Must think of a sleek way to store these babies..!

 

Phewww.. seems like too many when I put it that way. Ok but that's not all..

I also bought six bottles of designer perfumes (and among them is my fave Hugo Boss XX, my 2nd bottle!) and watches from Rotary, MBMJ and D&G. Ok yang ni takde gambar.

Well.. maybe rezeki is quite murah this year.. holidaying in Seoul and Tokyo.. there is a lot to be grateful for and I am thankful to Him for all the good things and blessings.

Some pics to look back before I end my 2012..

 My darling hubby and I. May we stay strong as life partners, ameen..

 

   

The Syed's family during our Seoul trip in July

 

My Zara.. taking her for a midday stroll in Ueno Zoo, Tokyo

 

 

  With her Auntie Ain @ Victoria Station

 

 Chilling with Mama after a day's shopping at Gotemba Premium Outlets

 I hope 2013 brings continuous improvement in my life as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an engineer and a friend. Zara is growing up, and it's fun seeing her growing and developing. With my current work, I am thankful that I get to be with my daughter and spend quality time together.

Career-wise, I'm gonna have a new assignment in 2013. I'm quite nervous about it, but there's nothing to it yet that I should worry. Like what Aamir Khan said in the movie "3 Idiots", all is well!

Oh yeah, I wish for 2013 to bring new great ties to the family. My sister-in-law is getting married in May 2013, and oh yeah, we are all excited about that. Praying hard for my sister's turn!

All in all, only Allah knows what's best for us.. pray hard and put in the best effort Sharifah!

Blabs from Yokohama

It's near to the end of 2012.

The good news is the prophecy of 2012 being the year of doomsday is miscalculated. Feel sorry for the Mayans (and it proves only Allah knows when it's gonna happen ok, tak payah la sibuk2 nak make prophecies of no avail..)

Tapi sebenarnya I don't really like to get into another new year.. it's like I am at the starting line again.. and the acronyms start to play in your head.. KPI, ACD, IPC, ICP.. whatsoever.. so bored of them.

Well, let's put that aside.

For now, all that matters is our Japan trip. Vacation for Papa and Zara, and business + vacation for Mama :)

Actually my husband and I have long been thinking on where to spend our year end holiday. We have been shortlisting a few places since.. hmm.. May this year?? Haha. Well, my beloved husband, being tied up with work, was unable to join us on our Seoul trip last July, so he wanted us to go for another holiday, the three of us. Little that we know, procrastinating the planning would eventually lead us to... Japan!!

We are residing in Yokohama now. Yokohama is a beautiful city; the 2nd largest city in Japan. Modern, very clean, very tasteful, not as busy as Tokyo.

 The view of Yokohama from my room. Can you spot Mount Fuji? Looks awesome, right?

 The street across my office. Many of the trees are already shedding leaves to welcome winter.

This is where I work :)

..and I work with these Japanese guys. Uchikawa-san and Koide-san.

Talented young engineers. Sukidesu!

Zara and Papa are having a great time here (well, dgn Papa leh duduk dalam stroller, dengan Mama tak mau ye.. Mama's arms are getting muscular now you know!) Besides trying to learn the language, we enjoyed the food as well :) Never did I want to taste any sushi or tempura in KL, but now that I've tried here, I must say, I love it!

Dining at one of our fave spots nearby the hotel. Garlic Jo's.

 

Zara laju je makan sushi.. tapi understandable pon, cuz it was good!

We're gonna have a long break for Christmas and New Year holidays.. so we're be taking the chance to go out from Yokohama. Perhaps do more sightseeing, and of course.. shopping!

I'll be posting lottsss of pics to my Instagram from time to time now.. macam agak malas nak layan Facebook nowadays.

Till then, take care guys.

Kung Pao Chicken: Let's get cooking!!

I had a good one week break from work last week. Maybe ada yang noticed that suddenly my instagram and facebook uploads were surging. Haha. Well.. memang banyak leisure time when staying at home kan. Especially when I have done the house chores in the early morning. And.. of course,  when I have a husband with great helping hands (do you know my husband cooks too? He aspires to be in Masterchef! )

Oklah, today I wanna share the recipe of Kung Pao Chicken, one of my fave dishes especially when going to chinese muslim restaurants. 

But I must warn those who dislike hot dishes - this can be a bit biting to your tastebuds.

Tapi sedap :D hehe.

Ok mari mulakan.

1. Marinate the chicken. Ingredients:
   a) 3 tbsp of oyster sauce
   b) 1.5 tbsp of corn flour
   c) about 500 g of chicken breast

  Mix them well and leave for 30 minutes. Heat the frying pan with cooking oil mixed with a bit of sesame oil. Fry the chicken until the color is golden brown. Then take it out from the pan. Use about 4 tbsp of the oil from the frying for sauté-ing the garlic and ginger later.

2. The sauce. Mix well all the ingredients below in a bowl:
   a) 1 cup of chicken stock (you can use the cube)
   b) sweet soy sauce. I like it sweet so I used like 5 tbsp.
   c) 2 tbsp of chilli sauce
   d) honey. Can be substituted with sugar
   e) 1 tbsp of corn flour. If you wish to make the gravy less thicker,  use less corn flour
   f) salt to taste

3. The sauté-ing ingredients. You will need:
   a) 3 large cloves of garlic
   b) 1 inch of ginger
   c) 5 dried chillies (or more if u like it hotter). Cut them into halves. Get rid of the seeds if you want.
   d) half capsicum, diced. I used red. You can choose the yellow or the green too. Adds colors to the dish.
   e) sliced carrots
   f) peas (you can definitely substitute this with your other favourite greenies)
   g) grilled cashew nuts, about half a cup

Ok now let's begin our cooking!

Pound the garlic, the ginger and a few dried chilli halves together. Sauté them for a few minutes. Then add in the remaining dried chillies. Let them fry for a while.

Add in the capsicum and the carrot. Stir the mixture well, and then add in the sauce (item #2). You will notice the gravy will thicken in a short while. 

Then add in the fried chicken. Stir well.  Then comes the peas, and lastly,  the cashew nuts.

Don't forget to taste your dish. Do some adjustments on the sugar-salt balance according to your preference :)

And now, your Kung Pao Chicken is ready to be served!

Syebu and Khai, hope this recipe works for you :)

Breaking the hiatus.. from my fantastic Galaxy Note 2

Salam Maal Hijrah all friends :)

I have taken a loooong hiatus from blogging haven't I? Ok.. you can partially blame it on my time management.. been dedicating every minute of my free time for my growing Zara and my husband, if not work.

(I'm actually typing now while breastfeeding Zara to sleep.  Can I qualify to be a supermom? Haha. Ok. Perasan)

(But really,  how many mothers still breastfeed their babies beyond 6 months of age? I initially thought they were many.  But I realized I am not really accurate)

Actually,  I really wanna blog in Malay. But I honestly, every time that I'm typing, I can only write in English.  How poyo is that???

I'll write more in these few days I guess.. wanna get my space here up and running again. 2012 has so much lesser posts compared to the previous years. Nothing to put the blame on. Just didn't feel like sharing that much anymore. Im more interested in shopping online.. which costed me a hell lot of money this year.

Well, that'll be elaborated soon in my future posts.

An epistle of grief

I always view April as the month of many good things, as the important dates of the important people to me are in mostly in April. My husband's birthday, the anniversaries of my parents and parents-in-law, my sister Ain's birthday, and the birthdays of my very good friends Caah and Zuhairy. Yet, this year, another date in April has added itself into my calendar. And that is the departure of my most beloved grandmother, Hajah Rashidah Abdullah whom we affectionately called as Maktok,on April 15th at the age of 80.

Yeah, it has been four days since she left us. I am still adapting to the change that she isn't here anymore.. though I would like to think she is just tired of all these years of taking care of her grandchildren that she decided to go somewhere else. But hey, I am a Muslim. I must know (and accept) that this is the fate of every living thing on earth.. that nothing is immortal except the Almighty.

It's just that I feel upset of not being with her on her last few hours. Maybe I could have helped my mom on something.. or maybe I could have recited for her the Yaasin much earlier. It was exactly seven days before she departed when I last saw her. Gave her some pocket money (I am glad that I managed to give it to her before her time came..) but still, I didn't really have a long chat with her. The last few words that I said to her were "Maktok janganla sakit-sakit k.. take your medicine according to its dose, and please don't skip meals.."

Though I wasn't purposely being away (Zara had chickenpox, and now she is still recovering) but still, I felt bad..

She had a terrible appetite that week.. I wonder why didn't I sense the sign that her death was coming.. Like the ustaz said in one sermon I attended, the unseen (ghaib)things are only known by Allah.. I must tell myself to be redha with whatever He has destined for me and those around me.

These few days, all the memories of her keep on coming into my head. And when I remember, these tears will appear in my eyes. I know I need to control this sadness.. Cuz if I'm not strong enough, I won't be able to comfort my mom and my siblings..

But I am glad that my mom, my two sisters and I managed to bathe Maktok's body before she was being wrapped in the white cloth. If her soul were to witness that, I know she must be proud of us. I am further relieved that the whole process were made easy by the Almighty. Bathing her was done smoothly, so it was when we were wrapping her. Her face was really calm.. like she was sleeping. Finally she got her long deep sleep after a number of days when she told my mom that she couldn't really sleep.

And I am also glad that many of her cousins, nieces and nephews came to pay their last respect. I know she was loved by those who knew her.. family or not.

Maktok, I have never really said the things I wanted to say to you. But I guess, since you're gone, there is nothing I can do about it. But what I can do is tell the world the wonderful deeds you have done for me (and my siblings).. I will pray hard that someday, I will meet you again in the Hereafter.. hopefully in Heaven. And I hope when I am a grandmother one day, I can do the same like what you did for us.

Maktok, thank you for taking care of me until I began my journey to the University, thank you for being my earliest teacher, teaching me nursery rhymes, folk songs, reading Quran, how to perform Solat, helping me out with my homework, all the advice you gave for me to improve myself, comforted me when I was so mad at people around me, thank you for helping me understand my parents, thank you for your prayers for me all these years, thank you for all the good food you prepared (they will always remain as the best food in the world), thank you for being a shoulder to cry on.. in short, thank you for everything Maktok. May Allah bless you for what you have done. Your leaving was so abrupt.. Until I didn't get the chance to say goodbye..

Ya Allah, please take care of my Maktok. She never wronged anyone. In fact, many people actually still owe her tonnes of apologies. But knowing Maktok, she must have long forgiven them..

.. And deep in the corner of my heart, how I wish I could turn back time.. and never let it tick for another minute..