Just a thought..

At times we need to look into the past.. to appreciate what we had, what we are and what we have now..

Whatnots out of boredom

It's the 10th day of February and I haven't posted anything? Wow..

Well, I don't really have much things to share for the time being. It's just that these 2 weeks somehow are the times I really wanna pass. Performance review cycle, and at the same time I won't be in Digi's roaming area, and all the final things that need to be settled before the big day (banyak lagi ke..? Maybe..) I'm not tired of it actually. It's just that I hope everything will go as I planned.

You see, I plan a lot. But I do have flexibilities in my plans. It's just that when the plans can really go as they should, I don't like it when it has to change without a strong reason. Nevertheless, I adapt very well. Even if I have to fake it.

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If anyone were to tell me that they were lonely, they definitely have no idea that I am very well versed at it. But I kinda like it. Among the things that I really appreciate is solitude.

Hmm.. I don't really like to be called 'a people person'.
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Oh God.. It's just so empty.

It's just me, the TV and my laptop in front of me..
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Maybe I should update my wedding page.

Oh yeah, to friends who have gotten my invitation card, please tell me okay. And yes, save the date!

Susah la nak cakap..

Among the millions of Malaysians whom are being quite concerned about what is happening recently in the country, I am definitely one of them.

I don't want to mention whatever things that have happened, but I am wondering, where is our direction is moving towards 1Malaysia?


I am not trying to give a suggestion (apa la yang 'budak mentah' can give as a suggestion??) but this is what I think.


Everybody's talking about 1Malaysia presently. Yes I do believe that it is widely accepted, since the goodwill of this campaign is obvious - to strengthen national unity, what more in a country like Malaysia, a nation of heterogeneity (or does this kind of statement only come from a 'budak mentah' like me?) But not everyone can conform, especially to something being kinda 'enforced'. 'Enforced' like "Hey, we are a multiracial country. To ensure harmony between the races, we must do (1), (2), (3).. Or if you don't do this, you are not helping to realize 1Malaysia." I think that's tough. Not the exact approach.

When the word 'acceptance' is highlighted, some may question, to what kind of extent should the acceptance be? Tolerance of sensitivity differs from a person to another. Not everyone is ready to tolerate and accept. But I think, anyone, and I mean just about anyone, can be enticed and persuaded to accept. It is just how the enticing and persuasion come about.


1Malaysia is way more than just visiting friends of different races during their Hari Raya or CNY or Deepavali. It's way more than just admiring the diversity in cultures of the races. It is way more than just hollering '1Malaysia!' side by side with our Malay, Chinese, Indian, Sikh, Kadazan and Iban counterparts.

Whoa, this looks tough, doesn't it? And after all the things that happened to the religious centers, it looks even tougher!

I sincerely hope that our administration leaders and politicians (come one guys, you have great access to the rakyat through your blogs and ministry websites and the whole internet!) please don't just say "I condemn the act of this and that.. bla bla bla", please do something. And that 'do something', please make sure that it is doing fairness to the people, not more act that show the shallowness in prompt thinking. Stop politicizing. It only creates racial and religious and political tension. I read some politicians' blogs with the comments from the citizen. I think we have done our part in voicing out our concerns (that was what you guys wanted us to do right? Voicing our concerns?) Why can't you guys take heed? Is it because complaints have gotten boring (and that's why you made the decision to do something fun like chasing artistes?) I know it is not easy to satisfy everyone, but I guess collectively the rakyat have more or less the same concerns.

You have been, or wanna be elected. So, show us your credibility, man.

and oh, I think the issue over government servants' KPIs and whatnot is overrated. Too much publicity. Boring baca. Tak ke mana pun. Government servants pun jadi lagi fed-up.



P/S: Really hope to see Malaysia doing better in next year's Transparency International Corruption Perception Index rank. 2009: Singapore ranked 3rd best, we are ranked 56th!

A step into late 20s

Whoa. I'm 26!

I still feel like I'm this 19 year-old girl when I am at home, really. However, I always feel older than my peers. Like 20-something going 30. Maybe because I was born in January. Does any January-ans feel that? I dunno. Maybe I am an isolated case.

The only thing nowadays that made January no longer my loved month is that I have ACD assessment in January. Well, last year and this year, with the dates being almost the same. No at this point of time, I can't entirely put my head in for the assessment. It has somehow affected my productivity for the first 2 weeks of the month. Can't say that I didn't prepare earlier, I started like 2 months ago, but not that consistent anyway. Preparing for ACD isn't the same as preparing for SPM, which in the latter case, whatever I read I can recall and fix the jigsaw puzzles perfectly. Now, I have to say that it is quite, or very, difficult. Telling my parents about it won't be of any help. They are not awed by work difficulties anymore, especially my mom, who has been busier lately after getting her doctorate. Boring.

A friend who is gonna get married a few weeks after me told me that she's planning on a long hiatus after marriage. Well, I am not so sure of that. I do think of how I can actually have some extra dollars (dollars ye, not just ringgit) from other things apart from my monthly wages. A career is what I wanna keep for myself, and what I am doing now is not too bad at all.

26. What's there in an age? Maturity? Higher wisdom? Better understanding? Higher fear of God? Higher income? Slower metabolisme? (Hey, not yet!!) Change in status?

Yep, this year I am getting married, in fact it's 9 weeks from now. How time flies. How I have grown. What a wow..

After this, life planning would be much more exciting, since I am not going to do it alone. I am looking forward for that. No, I'm not just another bride who thinks too much about the wedding preparation. I am more concerned about the essence of marriage. Some friends tried to bring me into the thinking that I should not let the individualistic thinking disappear when I am married. I dunno about that. They can say I'm blinded by love. They think they know me too much. But as far as I am concerned, I have never been blinded. I'm very fine actually. Trust me. And I can give assurance that no one knows me that much.

All the best wishes for you on your birthday, Sharifah. Expect changes everyday. Because changes are the constant thing in life you'll encounter. You can never say no. Face them with a great head on your shoulders, and with a good heart too.

First post for 2010

I'm 3 days late to welcome 2010. We're in January again! Time sure does fly fast.

Whenever the new year arrives, people will surely think about their resolution. Actually, unlike 2008 where I had hard targets for my resolution (and achieved them all! I was really happy :D), I had none for 2009, and I am actually thinking hard of what kind of achievement I want to accomplish in 2010. Put aside personal targets like getting married, going for honeymoons and stuff (it's not for public to know anyway), I am hoping that my new year's resolution could somehow contribute to a better well-being of the environment. Although my contribution may be at the smallest of the smallest scale (1 out of kerzillions of people around the world!), I am very sure that many friends out there share the same aspiration too.

Among the things I have started to do (to be environmental friendly):

• I am now using salbutamol inhaler that contains no CFC (I just got to know the type I used before contains CFC!). I was feeling really guilty when I found out about it. Imagine I have been using the inhaler that contains CFC since I was 6!
  
• I don't throw away old batteries into the waste bin anymore. I am collecting them so that I can place them into the batteries recycling bin. I think Dayabumi has one.
• I try to take the ERL whenever I have to go to and fro KLIA. At least I would feel that I have taken part in the campaign to reduce CO2 emission into the atmosphere. It is a liberating feeling I must say.
  

Those are the things I start with. I don't really know how to gauge my achievement for this resolution. But I suppose I could constantly ensure that my effort is continuous. Perhaps this is a little late to start the awareness within myself but hey, there is always a point to start :)

Happy new year to my friends, and let's put in endeavor for a better world to live in.

An elegy for Zuhairy

2009 will end in less than 2 days' time. I hope nothing outrageous will happen until the new year, after the surprising news on Zuhairy's mom's departure yesterday. Nobody in the family was ready for it. Sudden loss, hearts crushed. Rest in peace, Auntie Mashitah..

My dear Zuhairy, yesterday marks a new beginning for you and your family. I sincerely hope that you will go through this phase with an open mind and heart. Remember, everything that we have in this world are all temporarily given to us. It only differs in time, the moment they will be taken back. I remind myself that constantly, to help me move on, to help me realize and be 'redha' with what He has destined for me.

As your friend for over 16 years, I do have my own memories of her, especially when we were in school. I regard her as not only a friend's mother, but someone I could share stories with, especially when I was tired of waiting for my dad after Girl Guides class on Saturdays. She was one of the aunties I know who kept that competitive spirit in us classmates burning. She was one of those aunties with creative cooking ideas, and she was definitely a loving mother. I still recall how she made the effort to come to school nearly everyday to give you your breakfast box during recess time. And I do believe you inherited the looks from her too.

Be strong Zuhairy. Being the eldest son, I know you have a heavy role to carry on your shoulder. Fear not my friend. Life is full of unexpected things and uncertainties that, if we are afraid, we can go nowhere. Now that your mother is gone, you can help to lessen the missing in your siblings' hearts by filling the emptied space with love and care. Make certain that her departure does not end the blessings she could receive by continuously praying for her. That is the best thing that parents could receive from their children - the prayers, even after they are gone.

As a friend, I will be there for you. I am sure lots of friends will do be there for you too. The friendship that all of us have is very strong, and I can tell it by observing the friends who paid their respect yesterday. We want you to know that you are not left alone.

You will start a new beginning very very soon my friend, and I wish you all the best.


.. Sincerely from your loving old friend.

Sale sale sale! Beli beli!

(I have always wanted to refrain from talking about my upcoming wedding, but the things I wanna talk about evolve around me when I am working on the preparations. I hope I won't flood the blog with soapy wedding stuff. Enough the links)

Since the big day is drawing near, and what's more, the Year End Sale is still on high tide, En. Tunang and I made a series of shopping exercise. From Pavilion to Suria KLCC to Jalan TAR. From surveying and deciding what to buy, and the next few days were just buying-the-things-we-have-spotted, and we did a good job adhering to our allocation. It was fun to go shopping, I seriously can not deny that. But what I am more interested in is not the part when we got the things we wished for (memang seronok, but I did not say "Yes! Yes!Yes!" like the girl in Confessions of a Shopaholic), but the shopping behavior that shoppers have. I am awed. Awed in mixed feelings.

Yesterday, En. Tunang and I went to a well-renowned fabric shop in KL to get the fabrics for our pengapit during the receptions. It was Christmas, so yeah, I kinda expected Jalan TAR and its surroundings to be packed with swarms of people. It's shopping season kan!

After we got what we wanted, we waited for his sister who was queuing to pay at the counter. That was when one of the fabric shop staff hollered "Happy hour, happy hour! Murah2~ semua RM50 sepasang! Kain lembut2 kak.. tak payah gosok, mari2~!"

The aunties who came in are not all from KL I suppose. There were those from Kelantan, Terengganu (noting from their accent) and I was like "Whoa.. they come here to shop for kain? I thought city folks travel to their places to find kain? Hmm I guess that is called 'shopping assimiliation', haha.

I could feel the excitement in the makcik2's eyes upon hearing "kain sepasang RM50 je". They were delving into the rolls of cloth, picking one after one.. and I was bawling my eyes out. Deep inside my heart I yelped, "Auntie, don't buy, those pieces are unpretty. Tak cantik! It's a waste!" But if I were to open my mouth, I would definitely be kicked out of the shop, haha. So I tried in hesitation to watch them reaching out for the so-called cheap-but-pretty textile, knowing that I would turn them into rags to clean my kitchen if I were to buy one. And I was thinking too, every second the textile merchant gets richer and richer. Oh dunia~ how easy it is to get rich.. just rake the money out from everyone's pockets! Weapon? Good marketing and promotion! Barang tak best pun pembeli bukan pandai sangat nak tahu.. dia tahu dapat diskaun je..

So after all is done, out we go. Suddenly I was into this kinda-stupid idea. "Ain, let's check out that tudung store. I wanna find out what's there.." En. Tunang and family went their own way, leaving Ain and I to do what we wanted to do.

Tudung. Scarf. The trend now: Tudung Indon, that is being restyled and rebranded into brands like Ariani, Ratu and Fareeda; just quoting a few names. Don't say I have not tried, I have, but let's just say that I like scarfs with no awning. Afterall, the style in wearing tudung is not limited.

And so, Encik Kedai Tudung promoted the different names of scarfs that they have, telling us why we should opt for their tudung. Thai silk covered awning, swarovski beaded, face shaped to perfection, and so on. But referring to one of his statements, I will never agree that ladies who don't wear tudung indon-like style is out of trend. It's just that someone like him has been 'intelligent' enough to stick the thinking that branded indon-scarfs is the in-thing and make so-called trendy ladies pay RM200 just to take an average scarf out of their store. Some marketing they have there..

So, what kind of lesson learnt can we get? Make your own product, promote it to the sky, entice people, and your pocket will be thick in no time. Well, some time jugak la kut..

And I'm glad that I have great resistance to spend.

My Unwind

The 3-day training in Kuala Terengganu was a really needed getaway after the Instrument Forum, the changes in my wedding arrangements, the pre-shopping activity (4 days straight!), the tiring-but-finally-I-get-what-I-want-kain-hunting and my family's kenduri. Should I call it one of the last few moments that I enjoyed my life being single? Eh, I mean unmarried :D Yeah, it was one of the perfect getaways.

Why? Because there were great friends as company, great food, great hotel, much things to laugh about, pillow talks, many unexpected things, no rules to play by, and the list goes on. Sitting on the beach with the cold night's breeze biting the skin, admiring the dark sky pierced with glittering stars, sharing good stories and silent moments.. I couldn't ask for more. I call it rejuvenation process, haha.

(Seriously, the tension got my skin to age somehow. Don't say it's not visible ok)

I must admit that I really treasure the happenings around me right now, and that I would likely recall them this way "ingat tak a few months before our weddings.. we did this and that.." (Oh, a few friends-cum-colleagues will get married around the same time like mine, so we're kinda celebrating our single life together). I suppose after marriage, a different type of life could be expected. Not to say that I am viewing marriage from a not-so-positive angle, I DIDN'T say that! Let's just say that life later will somehow change. Priorities especially. I guess it will take some time for me to adapt. But anyway, I always believe that discovering something new or going through uncharted waters bring colors to life. Afterall, I am getting myself a great partner :) And I look forward to it.

Tomorrow, I'll board the plane again. Oh, have I ever mention I love airports? Yes, I do (love airports) :)

P/S: Thanks to Encik Nazim for the great training (specially edited for you ok~ hehe)

Prelude after the break

Here I am, sitting alone in Primula Beach Hotel lobby, just got myself connected after like 3 days of not accessing the Internet. Tomorrow I will head home, and will start my long untaken annual leave (yay!). 3 months more, and so much things to get done. Enough of planning!

It has been more than a month since I seriously wrote something. Oh well, not that I can really recall what happened throughout the 4-5 weeks, but I was damn busy and tired. Busy with work, family affairs and wedding affairs too! I'm not talking about my upcoming wedding, but my friends' weddings! Even this weekend I will have three weddings to attend, two on Saturday and one on Sunday, and that one being held in Bandar Baru Kedah. Wuhuu.. balik daripada Terengganu ni kena pergi tukar minyak hitam la jawabnya...

I guess I'll separate the things I have in my head into several posts (wah, adakah rajin?) If not, my idea will be so messed up!

P/S: Esok birthday Aishah. Happy 23rd birthday my sista!

No, not yet

It's hard to accept that I left my blog with all the cobwebs for nearly one month. Wuuhuu..

.. for the next post.