You know I have totally forgotten that there will (always) be celebration to welcome the New Year. Well, yes, one of the reasons being I never actually celebrated one, and I can't really see the joy of being another year older.
Yes, 2008 has been another great year for me. Conflicts, tears, laughter, new people, experiences and places, different jobs, everchanging bosses, a new status.. it was all complete. And I can't be more thankful to Him for helping me going through everything patiently. The different perspectives in handling them somehow taught me maturity and control over myself. I'm glad.
Life's short. With the increase of age it would be shorter. And for many, with the increase of age, the number of things we wanna do before we die also increase. And as years pass by, we come to notice that time is ticking even faster than we imagine. And yes, everyday, we are running out of time. And yes again, my mind is quite troubled thinking of it.
Lately I have been thinking about problems. Well, they are not exactly heavy problems that I have to crack my head to think of solutions. They are everyday issues that I have to deal with. Work, commuting, money management, relationships, conflicts, bills, etc. Yes, I call them problems. Realize it or not, problems will never subside. Only that the complexity of the problems differ from one to another, and not necessarily the older we get, the easier we can solve or deal with the problems. Problems are just everywhere in life. It is how we view them and how we take proactive actions to make things okay. Woh, I am starting to speak like a motivator, duhh.
But, yesterday, watching the burial of Yang DiPertuan Besar Negeri Sembilan made me think, that the worst ever problem for a human is when he is going to face God. Especially if he is not prepared to die. There, there will be no room for corrective actions anymore; only reward or punishment we will get for the deeds we did during our lifetime. And personally for me, yes, death is scary. Even though I recite the verses everyday, I know I won't be able to compete with others who perform better as a Muslim. In the end, I am just hoping for His forgiveness, if He can grant me that.
We never know how long we will live. That's the scariest part. It is either we live everyday to find His blessings, or wait till we are left with very little time to prove that we are among His worthy slaves. With accidents and diseases here and there, the uncertainty to live longer is definitely high. We can't say we are not going to be affected because we can't predict the future..
So, for the New Year, I wish to improve myself to be a better Muslim. I know I have the right people around me to help. I will keep reminding myself of these resolutions. How to gauge? Perhaps by the way I think, speak and act. Or perhaps by the satisfaction I would feel at the end of the year. God willing.
(Fairuz, you can help me with this, I know..)
SALAM TAHUN BARU~