After so long..

Assalamualaikum fellow readers.. :)

Whoa.. cobwebs everywhere.. fuuhh fuhh. It's not that I'm not into writing anymore. Writing has always been one of my favorite pastimes but seriously, for the past 9+ months, I haven't really had the time. A lot of things happening, with DXB Bakers on the go, and Zara has started school, and yes, I have started my Master's degree last month. It's overwhelming really. But like I have always done before, I like to prioritize. And for now, apart from the kids and my husband, my postgraduate is of utmost importance.

These past one year has been a year of change. Change in our family location, change in my career, change in our daily routines, meeting new friends, etc. My cooking and baking skills have improved (haha!) and yeah, I hope to be able to cook effortlessly like Gordon Ramsey or Guy Fieri (no I don't like Giada de Laurentiis eghh). I need to brush up on cake decorating though. Watching Youtube everyday without hands on is kinda difficult to sharpen the skills. Well, anyway..

I bought.. well, my husband bought for me this new gadget called Fitbit Charge. I love it so much because it helps me to count every step I take, every stair I climb and how many calories I have burnt. I couldn't rely on my S Health app on my Galaxy Note 4 as it always missed the step count (and making me feel underachieving.. ughhh). I already have it for like 2 weeks now, and my average daily step count is about 12,000 steps. Amazing for a homemaker huh. Haha.

 My Fitbit Charge

Zara is happy to be in school and she has learnt to read! I'm so excited of her milestone. Her classmates are of diverse nationalities, and I really enjoy the company of the mothers I meet at the school. There is this sweet Japanese lady names Rieko Takahata (mom of Sara), and the talented Emirates stewardess Charmaine Bordallo (mom of Olivja), the bubbly Singaporean Leanne Ng (mom of Kayla) and the very interesting Singaporean Wann (mom of Aaron). She inspired me to get the Fitbit. I really love talking to her. Feels like a liberation of soul. Hahah. And yes, I really do like her class teacher Ms Lynch. Very accommodating and kids-friendly.

I should be going by now. Fahim has woken up. And after that Zuhur prayers before I leave to fetch Zara.

Till then peeps. Gday.

Just a thought..

At times we need to look into the past.. to appreciate what we had, what we are and what we have now..

Susah la nak cakap..

Among the millions of Malaysians whom are being quite concerned about what is happening recently in the country, I am definitely one of them.

I don't want to mention whatever things that have happened, but I am wondering, where is our direction is moving towards 1Malaysia?


I am not trying to give a suggestion (apa la yang 'budak mentah' can give as a suggestion??) but this is what I think.


Everybody's talking about 1Malaysia presently. Yes I do believe that it is widely accepted, since the goodwill of this campaign is obvious - to strengthen national unity, what more in a country like Malaysia, a nation of heterogeneity (or does this kind of statement only come from a 'budak mentah' like me?) But not everyone can conform, especially to something being kinda 'enforced'. 'Enforced' like "Hey, we are a multiracial country. To ensure harmony between the races, we must do (1), (2), (3).. Or if you don't do this, you are not helping to realize 1Malaysia." I think that's tough. Not the exact approach.

When the word 'acceptance' is highlighted, some may question, to what kind of extent should the acceptance be? Tolerance of sensitivity differs from a person to another. Not everyone is ready to tolerate and accept. But I think, anyone, and I mean just about anyone, can be enticed and persuaded to accept. It is just how the enticing and persuasion come about.


1Malaysia is way more than just visiting friends of different races during their Hari Raya or CNY or Deepavali. It's way more than just admiring the diversity in cultures of the races. It is way more than just hollering '1Malaysia!' side by side with our Malay, Chinese, Indian, Sikh, Kadazan and Iban counterparts.

Whoa, this looks tough, doesn't it? And after all the things that happened to the religious centers, it looks even tougher!

I sincerely hope that our administration leaders and politicians (come one guys, you have great access to the rakyat through your blogs and ministry websites and the whole internet!) please don't just say "I condemn the act of this and that.. bla bla bla", please do something. And that 'do something', please make sure that it is doing fairness to the people, not more act that show the shallowness in prompt thinking. Stop politicizing. It only creates racial and religious and political tension. I read some politicians' blogs with the comments from the citizen. I think we have done our part in voicing out our concerns (that was what you guys wanted us to do right? Voicing our concerns?) Why can't you guys take heed? Is it because complaints have gotten boring (and that's why you made the decision to do something fun like chasing artistes?) I know it is not easy to satisfy everyone, but I guess collectively the rakyat have more or less the same concerns.

You have been, or wanna be elected. So, show us your credibility, man.

and oh, I think the issue over government servants' KPIs and whatnot is overrated. Too much publicity. Boring baca. Tak ke mana pun. Government servants pun jadi lagi fed-up.



P/S: Really hope to see Malaysia doing better in next year's Transparency International Corruption Perception Index rank. 2009: Singapore ranked 3rd best, we are ranked 56th!

Sale sale sale! Beli beli!

(I have always wanted to refrain from talking about my upcoming wedding, but the things I wanna talk about evolve around me when I am working on the preparations. I hope I won't flood the blog with soapy wedding stuff. Enough the links)

Since the big day is drawing near, and what's more, the Year End Sale is still on high tide, En. Tunang and I made a series of shopping exercise. From Pavilion to Suria KLCC to Jalan TAR. From surveying and deciding what to buy, and the next few days were just buying-the-things-we-have-spotted, and we did a good job adhering to our allocation. It was fun to go shopping, I seriously can not deny that. But what I am more interested in is not the part when we got the things we wished for (memang seronok, but I did not say "Yes! Yes!Yes!" like the girl in Confessions of a Shopaholic), but the shopping behavior that shoppers have. I am awed. Awed in mixed feelings.

Yesterday, En. Tunang and I went to a well-renowned fabric shop in KL to get the fabrics for our pengapit during the receptions. It was Christmas, so yeah, I kinda expected Jalan TAR and its surroundings to be packed with swarms of people. It's shopping season kan!

After we got what we wanted, we waited for his sister who was queuing to pay at the counter. That was when one of the fabric shop staff hollered "Happy hour, happy hour! Murah2~ semua RM50 sepasang! Kain lembut2 kak.. tak payah gosok, mari2~!"

The aunties who came in are not all from KL I suppose. There were those from Kelantan, Terengganu (noting from their accent) and I was like "Whoa.. they come here to shop for kain? I thought city folks travel to their places to find kain? Hmm I guess that is called 'shopping assimiliation', haha.

I could feel the excitement in the makcik2's eyes upon hearing "kain sepasang RM50 je". They were delving into the rolls of cloth, picking one after one.. and I was bawling my eyes out. Deep inside my heart I yelped, "Auntie, don't buy, those pieces are unpretty. Tak cantik! It's a waste!" But if I were to open my mouth, I would definitely be kicked out of the shop, haha. So I tried in hesitation to watch them reaching out for the so-called cheap-but-pretty textile, knowing that I would turn them into rags to clean my kitchen if I were to buy one. And I was thinking too, every second the textile merchant gets richer and richer. Oh dunia~ how easy it is to get rich.. just rake the money out from everyone's pockets! Weapon? Good marketing and promotion! Barang tak best pun pembeli bukan pandai sangat nak tahu.. dia tahu dapat diskaun je..

So after all is done, out we go. Suddenly I was into this kinda-stupid idea. "Ain, let's check out that tudung store. I wanna find out what's there.." En. Tunang and family went their own way, leaving Ain and I to do what we wanted to do.

Tudung. Scarf. The trend now: Tudung Indon, that is being restyled and rebranded into brands like Ariani, Ratu and Fareeda; just quoting a few names. Don't say I have not tried, I have, but let's just say that I like scarfs with no awning. Afterall, the style in wearing tudung is not limited.

And so, Encik Kedai Tudung promoted the different names of scarfs that they have, telling us why we should opt for their tudung. Thai silk covered awning, swarovski beaded, face shaped to perfection, and so on. But referring to one of his statements, I will never agree that ladies who don't wear tudung indon-like style is out of trend. It's just that someone like him has been 'intelligent' enough to stick the thinking that branded indon-scarfs is the in-thing and make so-called trendy ladies pay RM200 just to take an average scarf out of their store. Some marketing they have there..

So, what kind of lesson learnt can we get? Make your own product, promote it to the sky, entice people, and your pocket will be thick in no time. Well, some time jugak la kut..

And I'm glad that I have great resistance to spend.

Adi on AC?

I do think it's about time that I change the banner of this blog. It has gotten outdated I know.. I haven't the time to do so anyway. Will think of something interesting soon.

I guess my energy of going 'beraya' has ended. With Mak being busy (even on weekends!) and Abah whose spirit to go anywhere plunges every time Mak is not around, I suppose staying at home is better.

Talking about staying at home, one of the ways to kill time is of course, watching TV. Yesterday I watched AC?. Not because I am a fan, but because the brilliant kid Adi Putra was on air.

All in all, I should sum the kid as being "outstandingly wow".

Sadly, the one interviewing him, should I say, 'otak ke laut'! Personally I think the program does best in tarnishing the minds of the viewers. Adi is too intelligent to be there. Serious.

The best thing about the interview with Adi Putra was that, he answered all the questions with intelligence in modesty. I absolutely salute his qualities.

One of the questions if I could recall, "Adik, adik kata nak bina satelit dengan formula yang adik buat tu, dah tahu macam mana nak naikkan satelit ke atas?" I am not so sure if this kind of question was being asked to test the boy's credibility, but to me, it was kinda annoying. Lain la kalau yang menanya tu memang pakar fizik ke.. boleh la terima. Oh well, I am not judging the guy who asked. He confessed that he flopped math in school ok. Physics need Math.

But Adi's answer was just simple, "Adi tahu macam mana nak bina luar dan dalaman satelit tu, tapi macam mana nak naikkan, itu Adi belum fikirkan lagi.." In short, he's humble! How many intelligent people could be as humble as that? I don't sound like a fanatic fan, do I? Haha. No, just mesmerized.

The usual question that was popped was regarding Adi's competency in subjects other than Math. Personally, I think he is not just gifted in dealing with numbers. In fact his capacity could be borderless. Who knows. I suppose people would love to know that he's only good at Math, but not in other subjects. Why? The easier for them to criticize. Why? Because they want Adi to appear imperfect, just like them, so that they won't be inferior. Also, people worrying about him not having the 'fun' childhood. Kenapa la nak susah hati sangat kalau Adi ni tak reti main bola pun.. it is his choice. And he did say in the program that he does actually spends time to play. So, no issue la kan..

The worry that national education system is unfit for Adi, I suppose it may be hard for the government to have an avenue for genius kids when they are actually not prepared to have anything implemented. It is not everyday that we encounter child prodigies, and if the education system is not formulated with much thought being put in, it is feared that the kids will not benefit from it. We have yet to figure how can we offer an interesting way of learning for gifted kids. Perhaps Professor X can help? Ok2, stupid joke.

The thing that I am concerned about is, I hope that he will escape the envious hearts around him. Just for precautions, since our society still believes in resorting to you-know-what when it comes to the matter of envy and jealousy and hatred. I hope he will survive all those bad things.

P/S: Dulu agak reluctant nak beri pendapat tentang Adi Putra ni, but kerana bengkek dengan cara AC bertanya soalan yang menyakitkan hati kepada adik yang sangat berakal ni, maka post ini pun ditulis. Nasib baik aku takde kat studio, if not, mahu dah aku sound AC ni.

I love (smart) kids!

My mom holds tuition classes on weekdays except on Thursday. That means 4 times a week. In those 4 days, I loved it when it's Tuesday or Friday, because the two days are meant for primary schoolkids :) (yang dah secondary school ni tak best nak layan sgt.. berangan diorang dah lain macam sikit)

Sometimes, I join in my mom to teach too. I don't mind if they tell me "Kak, tak faham la...". I never give up in teaching them, because I believe if they do not understand what I am trying to teach, perhaps there are loopholes in the way I am teaching them.

"Faham tak?"
"Faham akak.."
"Sure betul faham..?"
"Emm..."

Okay, teach again how to answer.

Tapi, paling tak suka if dah Standard 4 pun tak hafal sifir. The problem is, ramai yang tak hafal sifir! Sudahnya, memang kena bebel la..

I love kids. And above all, I looovveeee intelligent and witty kids. Bonus if they are cute (tak cute, salahkan mak bapak! haha)

But it's not everyday I get to see smart kids. When I meet one, I feel honored, refreshed, I feel great! And yes, I definitely respect the parents who know how to nurture the 'X-factor' in their kids. Walaupun Sufiah Yusof mischanneled her stress in education, I sincerely believe that her mom did a terrific job in educating her children until they are regarded as child prodigies in Math. Seriously, hebat.

When I was in primary school, I had two friends whom I consider to be totally out-of-the-box breed.

Zuhairy:
"Okay Sharifah, tell me in which period Velociraptor existed?"
"Johann Sebastian Bach was more into writing songs for the church.."
"Weih, fakta tentang Corsica and Sardinia dalam Joe Jambul semalam macam salah je.."

He made me read about classical composers, dinosaurs, world history, etc. Terrific inquisitive mind. I never stopped saluting him.

Arwah Idris:
"Okay Sharifah, aku challenge ko jawab soalan kuiz aku ni. Soalan pertama, namakan 5 jenis pokok fir.." (I was thinking "damn this isn't in Alam & Manusia year 4 chapters!")
"Kau ambil je mana-mana buku. Buku pasal Milky Way aku ada a few. Pinjam je.. aku dah baca semua"

It was a terrible moment when I learnt that he passed away. Almost 3 years already.

Presently, I think NST is doing a good job in educating kids and teens. Niexster pull-out is an avenue for me to find thoughtful kids and teens. Opinionated and matured compositions by ages 17 and below. I'm inspired. But most of the column contributors come from urban areas. Another NST effort is the Spell-It-Right contest. I guess that competition created some kind of competitiveness in learning among the participants (and the viewers too!)

I believe encouraging the offsprings to have a sense of race in learning is a good approach. Afterall, learning is not just about getting Top 3 in the school exam. To learn more means to give more choices of what one wants to specialize into in the future. Parents, they 'have been there, have done that', so supposedly they can guide their children through what they have experienced.

Ibu, Ayah, jangan la asyik fikir kerja.. we need your attention too!

1 - the number for Malaysia

Fuhh.. at present Malaysia has various kinds of fever:

1) H1N1 fever (please observe the way you cough and sneeze ya.. before someone gets a shout on the face for coughing or sneezing in front of people's face)
2) Bazaar Ramadhan fever (sila control selera anda. Perut anda bukan tong)
3) Shopping raya fever (baju kurung chiffon kat SACC RM1k! Are you crazy?)
4) Matta Fair fever (oklah, ni KL je)
and finally, the best fever ever - 1Malaysia fever (iyolah kau)

(actually I felt a little jealous of Faizal Tahir & co. for getting that RM25k fortune out of that 1Malaysia promo.. if only I write songs too.. haha. Tapi nasib baik Siti tak menang. Kuikuikui..)

Speaking about the spirit of 1Malaysia, I personally have been practicing it (without being pushed to do so!) since I was 5, that was when I moved to Alam Megah, and began to have friends of different races.

My first friend in the neighborhood was a Chinese boy. His name was Hock Seng. I can still recall, how I really enjoyed Chinese New Year, because we would fill our evening, together with my siblings, with playing firecrackers a few days before CNY. His family was equally friendly too. Then, when I stepped into kindergarten, my circle of Chinese and Indian friends grew. Some of them, I met them again when I stepped into secondary school. It was really fun back then. Every CNY, Raya or Deepavali would mean "it's time for beraya for us schoolmates!" Mandarin oranges, marukus and capatis and nasi impit.. everyone loved it.

Even language was not the barrier. In fact, we tried to learn a bit of Tamil and Cantonese. Those who excelled in English always made the effort to lend a hand to other classmates who wished to learn. Of course, when the exam seasons were around the corner, we became competitive, trying to outshine one another. We gauged each other's competency, and by knowing that, we doubled our efforts to do better. But we shared the mistakes we did in the exams, because in the end, it was the 'A' percentage of the class that mattered to us. We wanted to do better than our seniors. And yes, we did it.

Speaking of religion, we talked about everything. Why Muslims have to fast; the differences between Catholics and Protestants; the significance of cow in Hinduism, popular gods and goddesses of Buddhism (remember the series 'Journey to the West'?). Yet, we managed to observe the way we approach things between different races and religions. I totally felt the 'muhibah' atmosphere.

What I am trying to say is, even though the advertisements and promotions of 1Malaysia are heavily conducted, the possibility for 1Malaysia to be institutionalized inside everyone's mind and heart is slim if it is never felt nor experienced. I am not sure if the hearsay that says rifts among races are agonizing spreads purely on political purpose (disregarding what happened in Shah Alam). Politicians must remember, that one of their roles is to facilitate improvements, not scaring the public with free, baseless comments. I suppose, if more news on interracial well-being is publicized, perhaps it could motivate the readers to take it as a good societal example.

Another challenge for 1Malaysia to be implemented is that each race must understand the other races and their sensitivities. For example, caning of the Muslim model who consumed alcohol. Though for other races, it may be looked at as a severe prosecution for a woman, but it is a prosecution based on the religion. Therefore, other races must understand that the issue should totally be contained within the religious parameters only; not to be a polemic. Another good example is of course, the cow-head thingy. I suppose objections can be made in a more civilized and sensitive way. The action of putting the cow head to be displayed as such evidently showed that too little sensitivity is taken into consideration when the mind is in resentment.

But of course, intra racial harmony should be observed too~ (Malay neighbor vs Malay neighbor? A common eyesight I suppose. Sg Buloh Country Resort is the best example, haha. Siap nak berparang lagi.. gile.)

P/s: Tapi rasa pelik la bila dengar orang cakap "Salam 1Malaysia!". Ala-ala poyo pun ada jugak. Haha.

Some ngomelan

Just a few things to mention..

1) Two wrongs don't make a right. I suppose many of us can easily hear people say this, even in formal meetings! "It's mean.." (when the actual meaning is "it means..", not like in the context of "it's mean... to do something bad to someone..") Too many times. In fact, it has never been corrected since the first time I heard someone said "it's mean.." Is it because of the slogan "Kepimpinan melalui Teladan", therefore, those who don't really know grammar just follow blindly without questioning (or they can't even bother to question) the appropriate use of apostrophes? The worst part is, the grammatical error becomes increasingly widely used in other phrase like "it's depend" (duuhh..)

2) Terawih di masjid/ surau. When my siblings and I were younger, my mom used to scold us whenever we made noises when she was performing her prayers. Usually, the prize would be blue-black bruises, haha (serious sakit gile kena cubit dengan pakar!) But we got the point, that making noise when people are praying or reciting the verses is discourteous. I expect parents to teach their kids about manners. The tok imam repeatedly reminded parents who brought along their kids to refrain them from making noises while the jemaah were praying. But of course, some parents were too lenient toward their kids, until their kids became uncontrollably naughty and noisy. I have pinched one kid at the surau last Ramadhan after terawih, thanks to her distracting the jemaah by lying down on the prayer mat in front of us when we were performing terawih. I don't wanna do it again. But these kids, they just have to be taught a lesson! And believe me, I am actually tempted to do it again.

3) Sentenced to be caned, but nobody is expert enough to perform the caning? It's just like sentencing the accused person to go to jail, but then, rupa-rupanya the jail has not been built! Or does the judge actually expect her to appeal.. in which she didn't? Silap la Your Honor.

Of H1N1 and whatnots

Gossip hari ini: Akhil Hayy is married to Waheeda? Whateverrr...

Another week in Miri and I can't wait to come home. Unluckily, my flight home is on the first day of Ramadhan, which means I won't be able to dine on flight (which is something I reaallllyy love~) I hope the renovation is done by then, and hopefully I will be able to find something good for Mak to decorate the house with next weekend.

News on arising number of H1N1 cases is something not so nice to know. Yesterday, in the news, it was predicted that almost 5 million of Malaysians will be affected by the virus. Such a large number! I sincerely hope that we Malaysians adhere to the advice from MOH, to take care of our hygiene especially our hands, and to cover the mouth and nose whenever we sneeze or cough. I really think that those who cough and sneeze freely without heeding people's presence are really insensitive about this matter. Doesn't matter if you don't have H1N1 pun. It's also a matter of courtesy and manners. Sometimes I just feel like blurting out my anger to this kind of people. Tapi nanti diri sendiri terbuat (walaupun tak sengaja), orang kata 'cakap tak serupa bikin' lak kan.. so, better I keep it inside.. dan protect myself with tissue papers and Scott's Emulsion..

(Mak, Abah and the whole family, sila simpan stok Scott's Emulsion ya..)

At present, I feel time is ticking really fast. It's already August, and exactly in 5 months' time I'll be 26! Fuu.. dah nak late 20s ok. In these two years, I notice that there are lots of changes in me, especially in the aspect of viewing life. I am also trying to recollect things that happen in my childhood and adolescence, so that whatever I experienced can be shared with my generation later, in hope of giving them more life options and insights before making any decisions.

(Is that too early to be thought of? Hmm..)

I think I have aged (I bet Mak will say I'm crazy). Ageing, in a way, I think it's interesting. But I would prefer if it is accompanied with exponential matureness of the mind.

Forgive and forget?

2 weeks in Kerteh and now I'm back in KL for a while. A rough start in Kerteh: missing luggage and the emergence of a larger-than-a-dinosaur pimple on my forehead. Anyway, having my work completed 1 week ahead of schedule and getting a closer look on the plant instruments were definitely the cure.. apart from the nice small dinner I had with one of my best chums Nadi on my last night there. This weekend Ozal will be back home, since on this coming Monday he won't be having any classes. I'm thinking of what to do this weekend. I don't expect myself to watch Harry Potter that soon, because it is expected that the cinemas will definitely be flocked, and I don't really enjoy big crowds, especially on weekends. Nevertheless, I am foreseeing that Ozal might drag us to watch the movie.

During the dinner, among the topics that Nadi and I touched were about seeking apologies and being forgiving. I told her about a few stories, painful to the heart, that I am still unable to forgive and forget. One of the reasons: there were no apologies sought, and because of that, I am unable to forgive. Perhaps in those particular cases, I believe forgiveness does not come for free. It should be asked for. Especially when the occasions involve heart matters. It's not the same like one freeingly forgive a neighbor's offspring for breaking one's flower pot. The damage is not the same as the damage done to the heart. It leaves permanent scar inside.

I quote Fairuz's favorite tagline: Treat others like you wanna be treated. If the 'treat others' fails, then definitely 'like you wanna be treated' is just for us to dream about.

Walking through my life, I have seen too many incidents around me that were so damn impossible to forgive, that sometimes led to vengeance. I can totally understand why, because they did not involve the heart alone, but also pride and family ties. And because forgiveness was too seldom to be sought for, the ties just dissolved with time.

I have seen people begging for forgiveness, and eventually repeat the same old attitude again. What's worst is that they influence other people to hate the wronged person. Because of that, I tend to identify people around me as being trustworthy or otherwise. Because of that too, I tend to warn my family and friends acquanting with those of that type to be careful. It may sound paranoid, but I just wanna protect my beloved from being offended, or lied to, or heartbroken.

I do believe in the phrase 'once bitten, twice shy'. Perhaps there are former acquaintances that I don't wanna keep in touch with anymore. If they can't think of a reason why, may be the most likely case is that I was been incised by them. I love my heart, and I constantly make sure that it doesn't bleed. Perhaps in time it will heal, even though they never really say sorry to make things better. Perhaps they have forgotten what they have done, and that's why I'll just shy away and will not highlight things anymore. It's called "healing myself".

I know some will say 'sedangkan Nabi ampunkan umatnya'. Well, it takes a great deal to be a great human like the Prophet (pbuh). Allah's guidance to seek peace in mind, soul and heart is the only help I always ask for.

Oh yeah friends, do not advise me, unless I ask you to. The best thing to do is to send me tapes of sermons or books by Islamic scholars. That will be better :)

P/S: Kailua, I know who you are.

Danger: Emotional Alert! Haha.

I have always wanted to know where my readers come from. And because of the advancement in real time online tracking, I am able to track where my readers come from. Yes, it is nice to know that my blog is being visited, even by people whom I don't know. I sometimes wonder, which friend is it that I have in Brighton (well, cousin Alisa used to study there.. but that was like 2 years before), Singapore (Tan Su Yi kah?), Saudi (let me guess, Zaim?) and Japan (I suppose it's Fiqah). I just wanna say thanks for spending the time browsing though my posts :).

How do I know some of my readers? Well, some are constant commentors (like En. Dayat!), some friends (who are usually bloggers too) told me that they came across my blog and expressed their views about my posts, and some friends gave some hints that they have read this blog by giving me some hints, e.g. you love fried chicken, don't you? And I will wonder like, err.. when did I give that information away verbally..? Hmm.. The pulling down part is that, when I know my readers, I tend to restrict whatever I am writing so as not to write things that may be discomforting to them. As a result: depressed blogger! haha. Less of self expression.

For almost two years, I no longer engage in diary-writing (except during new year's eve), cuz when I read back my diary posts, it all seemed to be quite emotional (it's easier expressing my emotions on paper, than with people, nanti kena label as drama queen. Tak macho la kan..), and I don't prefer that sort of feeling. And I have thrown lotsa them into the dustbin. In short, waste of my time. So no, I avoid going near to fancy diaries when I step into Kino or MPH.

Speaking about being emotional, lately I sense the huge impact of emotions on me. You know, I guess the "9 nafsu 1 akal" thingy is taking over me. Nafsu, in my understanding after reading a few opinions (mentioned by Saifulislam and demipena in their websites) does not really link to lust or desire or whatever synonyms that it has, but more to the emotion matters. I asked a few of my close girlfriends before, do they feel that, and they said it's affirmative. It's not that I'm trying to deny the womanish development inside me, but it does feel awkward (and tak best jugak!). Why? Because I adore those whom are more logical than emotional. Maybe it's the ego thingy, or maybe the adapting process is slow. And because my emotional side is developing, I pity my fiance who has to get used to the emotional turbulence I had recently. Believe me, I am adapting as well! It's rather weird you know.

Perhaps I should finish reading that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (sebenarnya malas nak habiskan.. tapi Robert Kiyosaki said those who don't wanna learn more are ignorant people. No, Sharifah is not ignorant!) to better understand women (as well as men). It should help me in dealing with my loved ones, and friends and colleagues.

I've got a wedding tomorrow to attend in Putrajaya (congrats Syikin and Amri!) and after that, I'll head to Jalan TAR, kikiki.. mencari kain! And Monday to Wednesday, BOSET with Yatt, Caah, Nazrol and Shafaf! May we survive.. (cey, the scaredy-cat me!)

Of leadership course, and a lil bit of emo thingy..

Question: what do you do with someone who does not like you and tempts you to feel the same way towards him/ her? You obviously don't wanna get in a mess with that person, but because of his/ her shown 'attitude', you feel like smacking that person on the face? Is it worth it?

Well, I was in this leadership program a few days ago. A good program for my inner growth definitely. Learnt a few useful things that I could do to better up my self-reflection, judgment, decision and action. We watched a movie titled "The Peaceful Warrior" on the 2nd night there.. and obviously we had to pick up a few things in the movie related to what we have learnt in the previous sessions. The movie was superb! I wish I could discover my Socrates like Dan did. It was a mind-opener..

There was one particular line in that movie that made me laugh about myself: "Life is a mystery, don't waste time figuring it out".

Well, I DO waste a lot of time thinking about life's mystery, haha. Why? Ntah, I just like to. Maybe it's nice to blog about what others don't really think of kan.. hehe, poyo. And sometimes, thinking about life helps me to widen life choices, mend heartbreaks, change my perspective... But yeah, at times, my mind is too cluttered I get agitated when my family asks me about my weekend plans for wedding preparation. Sigh.. kerana jarang ada plan pun! Wedding kan lambat lagi.. ceyy, alasan!

At this point of time, I feel my life has less meaning than before. I don't know why suddenly I feel that. Perhaps because I don't have that many activities outside work hours. Plus the really hot day-time.. that adds to the lazy feeling definitely. Ah, I'm definitely thinking about some kinda reunions or catching up with old friends.. or hanging out at some coffee house with my sibs.. but it all ended up as plans.. plans not realized! Cis cos.

Oh well.. At least I am left with myself to reflect upon, and that's a lot of homework jugak!

Another day at the office.. and I'm off to Bintulu! Hopefully I will be able to meet my Uncle Shah there.. and ask him what's it like to be the new first man of ABF, huhu. Can't wait!

P/S: Maybe it is worth it to give a smack, but I would like to stay in my best senses.. and not to react to my anger.

Saturday night post

April has four important dates in my calendar: Ain's birthday on the 6th, my parents' anniversary on the 10th, and my beloved's birthday on the 14th. On this 25th, Ain will be called to the Bar, and she will officially be proclaimed as a lawyer. Congrats sis =) I'm so proud of you.

So far, I missed the earlier two, and I will miss this 14th too. So I am foreseeing a birthday card or a gift to be given away on a belated basis. I'm sorry sayang. Ain, I promise I will make it!

This month is a busy month for my family, and for myself definitely. Only in KL on weekends, and wherever-I-may-be on weekdays. Mak and Abah are going to do some traveling also. Abah with his regular outstation, and Mak will be interviewing students in some states too. Pity Ozal he has to stay at home. But it's good also for him to be around for a while, before he continues his tertiary education.

Okay. Enough of the minor updates there. Lately, I am quite disturbed with this annoying issue that my mom faces these few days. Since the university my mom works in is opening interview sessions for selected students, many of her acquaintances + relatives + friends + colleagues are asking her help to recommend their child/ nephew/niece to get a place in the varsity.

I won't take it as an issue if the candidates score fairly in SPM. But I don't think it is right if they were to be accepted based on some 'back-door' deals just because their parents/ uncles/ aunts have good contacts that can get them through. In fact, nobody with a clear mind will say it's valid to do so. Yeah, I understand that every parent wants their children to be educated, i.e. to attend university. But, with scores of mere 6Cs, 7Ds and 8Es, it will just give universities a bad name of taking bad students in. Quality should be the priority here.

Therefore, I wonder, how many of us actually did qualify for our tertiary education? Was it because of our own merits, or was it because our parents or acquaintances had the influence? If one has merits and influence, that is a double-bonus I suppose. But if it was based solely on the influence, then pardon me, we should be doubling our efforts because it was just a tick of luck for us to be given the opportunity. The reputation of getting a chance based on influence is definitely questionable.

Therefore, please, stop asking academicians that you know for the back-door ticket. It's too loathing, personally for me. It's not nice being granted an instant VIP pass. Every candidate should go through the same procedure of screening. You will know if you do well or otherwise..

Just regular issues..

I'm back in KL, but for just two days. It has been nearly 6 weeks of mobiling for work. Tiring, experience-gaining, competency-building, brain-wrenching, yes, very much close the aspiration of the company for young employees I suppose, haha. Oh well, I'm still alive, so yup, no reason of complaining. I love my job!

I can say for the past 1 week, I have not really flipped through the papers with much interest. Nothing that captured my attention of digging deeper into. Politics? Well, if the news is about resolving the current political disputes here and there, it would sound nice, but it seems that the political turmoil will continue to ride on the big waves. What more the misconducts of the two politicians? I'm loathed. Even though if eventually the reports may be untrue, I would still be loathed. As a result, I will usually skip the few front pages and look for the "letters from readers" column. Issues in the society. Worth reading.

Well, I don't mean to be ignorant. It's just that I am frustrated; which I am sure I am not alone to feel this. Everyday, sensational news on political problems take the centre stage. Or to be exact, MORAL issues of the politicians. Perhaps, there are more reports on immorality of the politicians to be revealed soon. Especially when it is time to lobby for votes to get a position.

Right now, there is rarely a report from the investment experts that Malaysia is able to endure the economic crisis. In times like this, I am convinced that many of us Malaysians are facing financial difficulties even more than ever. Retrenchments, VSS, and whatever more HR-related cost savings will just add pikes to the burdened economic scenario. No money, no spending. No spending, no money movement. No money movement, no encouragement on businesses. No business, raging downfall of KLSE. Falling of KLSE, our currency will be worsen..

Last two days, The MIX Breakfast topic was on "how do you Malaysians deal with the current economic situation". There were answers from the callers like "I don't have any savings, but it's okay cuz I'm still single" and "Well, I don't eat. Escaping meals seem to be the only way since I can't reduce expenses on other things". Both answers came from people with no commitment yet. But there was this particular caller whom I really felt sorry for. She was a single mother, with two kids to care for and to feed and to educate. She told the DJs that she really felt the pressure of the economic downturn on her. Prices of goods going up as usual, which means more expenses for the households. She felt sorry of not being able to fulfil many of her kids' wants and wishes, like buying new toys and going for holidays, because she couldn't afford to spend on the unnecessary things. There were a few times when she paused from talking, I suppose she was refraining from bursting into tears on air. I felt bad for her.

The price hike of the groceries makes me gulp. The toll fare rise makes me gulp. The drop of crude price makes me gulp. The political atmosphere makes me gulp. The drop of unit trusts prices makes me gulp. How can I sleep with mind's peace? How can we all sleep with mind's peace?

In times like this, it is not so nice of the governors of the nation to focus on their political dispute. If investors can express their doubt over Obama's ability to weather the American economic crisis despite the tremendous support given to him by the Americans, definitely we can doubt our not-so-credible governors' ability to better up the condition of Malaysian economy. Trying to fight graft, graft is worsening. Trying to fight recession, recession is worsening. "Oh well, if we know it never stops from worsening, we suppose there's nothing we could do.. but to sit down and hope everything will be okay.."

What do we have? Bad performing governors? You bet.

What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!!

(With lotsa love from Kerteh >_<)

Ok. Still, this post will not discuss about the thing I really want to talk about. But anyway, I think this matter is also something we should think about, so yerp, I wanna talk about this.

When something that happened didn't really go the way we wanted it to, it is easier for us to just blame other people for it. Why is it easier? Well, there might be a few answers to explain that.

1) We are just too lazy to dig into the real cause of the problem.
2) We always think that our records are too good until it is almost impossible to accept that we could commit mistakes at times. It's something like Frank Sinatra's My Way la.. "Regrets, I have a few.. but then again, TOO FEW to mention.. lalala.. I did it MY WAY~" Yerp.. no one can object your way.. huh.
3) We think we know it all, and that no one can satisfy our expectations and needs, except ourselves.
4) Wrong mood, PMS, wrong timing.. everything's wrong! So yerp, not in the mood to find our own mistakes.
5) Well, maybe it is really totally not our fault. The people around us are just being paranoid over a small matter.

Well, tonnes of reasons of course! Nevertheless I feel that it is not right to just close our eyes and ears from helping or being cooperative to solve things, even though we are not the cause of the problem. Pointing a finger towards others will result in our other fingers pointing at us (alright2, except for our thumb la..) In an argument, I think what matters more is not to win the debate, but more to finding the best solution for the argument, so that we won't lose our self-respect just to win the case.

Oh well, it's just a thought..

A: What's wrong with you??
B: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!! (Staring with enlarged eyes)
A: Nothing's wrong with me.. you're the one who started it!
.
.
.
.
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.. I wonder when the squabbling will end..

Malay over English? Or vice versa?

Alright2. So the last post didn't seem to be mind-blowing eh, haha! Well, one of my good friends told me, that I care too much about what people will comment about my blog. In some ways, yes I do. But at times, I just wanna let loose from the once-in-a-while mind-wrenching work and this tired body. But answering the questions using pics from Google Image actually added to my headache that night, haha. But I think the pics I pasted were really nice though, hehe.

I have a few heavy topics to discuss actually. But I can't do it at this time. I'll wait when I'm ready =) And you will have to wait too!

Okay. Now, let's discuss on the silenced topic on "Which language these schoolkids should study Maths and Science in?" Nothing have I heard about any objection on the decision made by the Minister of Education on continuing the teaching of Maths and Science in English. To me, there could be two reasons for it: One, because they respect the ministry's collective decision, and two, they are tired of fighting for Bahasa Melayu. I'll take reason #1.

Well, I wanna share my experience studying Additional Maths, Biology, Chemistry and Physics in Bahasa Melayu. Life in Form 4 was more to a a challenging year rather than a 'honeymoon year' definitely, where we were introduced to 'complex' subjects with 'complex' terminologies. If you were a science student too, and shared the same experience like mine, please do share.

I was excited then to be learning subjects I perceived as 'Whoa subjects', namely the four I mentioned previously. But there was one problem: to understand what the terminologies exactly meant. Especially in Add Math and Physics.

Add maths: Janjang (until now I can't really understand the word, though it's a malay word), Pengamiran (why 'Amir'? 'Integration' makes it a lot easier to understand why the mathematical operation is like that) Lokus Dalam Dua Matra (isn't it easier to say 'Dimensi' rather than 'Matra'?), Anu (in informal malay language usage, anu means 'that thing'. Translated in English to be 'Variable').

Physics: Troli terpampas geseran (You know what crossed my mind everytime we studied this? The Pampas in Brazil!), get logik (I never knew that there was a direct translation of 'logic gate' to 'get logik'. I though the concept was 'Get logic!')

Science: Titi Tetimbang (and in English, it's the more understandable 'Transistor'!)

Those are just a part of the kerzillion words that had my classmates and I confused of what we were learning. Thank God, we just made them easier to understand in our own ways by discussing them with the teachers, so that we could answer the exams correctly. And thank God, in SPM, the question setters didn't ask questions like 'Why is it called "terpampas geseran' or 'titi tetimbang'?" surely we would have memorized the terminologies dictionary instead. Painful!

And, the transition from learning in Malay to English in the University was QUITE a transition for most of us. We had this English Test for new university entrants, where most of the students who scored low were from boarding school (I wonder why..). I was quite taken aback by that fact. Though I passed and didn't have to go through Foundation Class, it wasn't fun to know that some of your friends were not there with you.

But then, that was just a small test. Venturing further into the mind-wrenching engineering subjects required most of us to have our own dictionary beside us everytime we were studying using the thick textbooks. Yes, it was time consuming, but in the end, we got out of the university with our english (I would dare to say) being way better than it was 5 years before.

So, in this present day, I would say that the younger generation is fortunate to be learning Science and Maths in English. I personally think that it is not a way to discriminate Bahasa Melayu. What good anyway does it bring Bahasa Melayu if most of the terminologies we have are direct translations from English, if not confusing terms that makes the learning harder?

Perhaps there are ways to inculcate the love for Bahasa Melayu inside the younger generation. Though I speak English most of the time, but I still love all the art and wonders there is in Bahasa Melayu. I also have high acclaims for those who have strong grip over the language, for not all have the strong command in this nation's mother tongue. The approach and the variety of learning materials and vocabulary usage at an early age probably, can help to instill the love for the language.

I suppose, if the children of the 80s were to be questioned about their experience in this matter, they would likely say the same. I might not think of this if not for the discussion I had with a few friends about this matter over a week ago. And yes, we had the same confusion. Either there were hiccups in the education system, or was it us who weren't bright enough to understand the terminologies, that can be another issue that can be debated on.

I think if the authorities of the education system were to conduct an exit survey of the students about their learning experience, that would be a great step to help the former improve their service. And an improved learning system will definitely benefit the progenies of the nation.

Ehud dan Bara(c)k

Yeah, Bush memang suka Israel. Makin direstunya Israel untuk membedil Palestin.

Yes, the world is watching, but we can't do anything.. too bad.

Di Israel ada dua pemimpin yang nama depannya sama dan sama jahatnya: Ehud Olmert dan Ehud Barak.

Jika polisi Obama terhadap Israel sama seperti Bush, maka Obama juga tentunya akan memberi muka terhadap kedua-dua Ehud itu. Apatah lagi calon-calon Demokrat bertanding di atas timbunan wang yang disalurkan oleh Yahudi. Apatah lagi Obama akan memerintah di saat Amerika kekeringan dana. Apatah lagi Obama pernah menidakkan Islam dan berpaling langsung.

Dan jika Barak and Barack disebut dalam bahasa Melayu baku, bunyinya sama sahaja. Huh, kebetulan yang menambahkan lagi sengsara Palestin.

Malang bagi Palestin pula, Hamas dan Fatah tidak sebulu. Susah bila dua nakhoda bertelagah, siapa yang akan memandu kapal ke destinasi yang betul?

Apalah nasib Palestin? Dan siapa yang akan membantu membela?

Yoga? No thanks.

Well well, now Majlis Fatwa is in the heat again. Yoga is bannned, and as usual, some defiant groups are forever ready with their missiles and bombardings to prove that the newly announced fatwa is not being given full thought.

It's normal to have people opposing to ideas and new things, what more if it is going to be implemented as an enforcement.

Well yeah, some may say "Hey, I have been practising yoga for years, it has not affected my faith in my religion!"

And I will say "Good for you then :)"

As much as people are sensitive about sexism, racism, languages, and of course religions for that matter, but I notice that many Muslims here are the ones who are defiant or wish to appear ignorant of their own religious rulings. Why? Just to appear cool? To look universal? To reflect open-mindedness? I'm not sure. Well, to me, ignorance is never bliss.

Hm, since the parties who opposed the ban of yoga are the ones who usually oppose what is being said by Majlis Fatwa, I suppose they just love to oppose. So I guess the opposing parties can do no harm. Just that they can't keep their mouth shut when it comes to opposing. Mungkin ada excitement atau adrenaline rush dalam hobi membangkang ini.

On my part, I always thought it's a common sense to know that yoga IS some sort of a devotion way of another religion, which is why I have never wanted to practise it, though many said that it brings goodness to one's being. So I guess I just should go on with my skipping routine then.

From observation: Lesson #1

If you are 25, a degree holder and hold a career as a professional, and you are not knowledgeable about even the simplest general knowledge (like 'Who is the current DPM?' It's not even 'Who sat in the position of the United States Secretary of State before Condoleezza Rice?') even a school-goer knows, it is definitely NOT COOL.

Do not exaggerate on your ignorance. It is obviously not something to boast about.

People may not think your mind is too occupied on something else; people would just think you're dumb. Even a pretty face won't be able to cover it.

So don't show your dumbness just to appear cool. It won't work. Especially with me. It won't elevate my impression on you.

Perfection in difference

Okay. Great, I have just enough time to write something tonight.

You know, when I am alone, I think about a lot of things. Not necessarily those things have close relation to myself. Mostly it's about the things that I observe right from the start of the day until the time I call it a day.

From standing next to a guy wearing a Cartier watch in the LRT, to passing by the usual beggar sitting at the end of the staircase of Pasar Seni station, I observe the vast differences. Not only the difference of the environment of Dayabumi area compared to that of KLCC, but also the people: the races, nationalities, attires, way of life, etc.

Sometimes, I have this kind of perception towards people around me having observing them. Either good or bad or neither, it depends. But then, normally, when we observe things, we tend to forget to observe one thing equally, perhaps more importantly than the rest of the things we can see and evaluate in our sight. Yes, it's ourselves.

Most of the time, I perceive nothing is wrong with me. Nothing is wrong as in I watch what I eat, I manage my cashflow, I do brisk walking everyday (as a reason to stay away from the gym!), make sure that I am on time for work, keep my face away from pimples and blackheads, keep in close touch with my good friends and my other half, less of fooling around, do beneficial things for myself.. and the list goes on.. completely normal.

But at times, I try to observe myself from the eyes of other people. As in, If I were a guy, would I date a girl like myself? Or, i I was another girl, what would I (as in that another girl) think of (the present) me? Or, at times when I actually am fidgeting, and I try to cover it, and when I thought I could manage it, can people still see that I am fidgeting?

Someone will probably reply me "Ah, why should you care about what others think of you.. People will love you only when you love yourself first.." Hmm.. is it true? Most of the time, I face the pain of hating people who love themselves too much they forgot to think of other people around them.

But, has any of us realize, sometimes we hate others because they do things different from our paradigm or mindset..? The fact that it is hard to accept others' difference of paradigms, purpose and principles. Each of us may want to prove who is the best by competing, showing off, debating, etc. in which none of us wants to lose in any of those, because when we lose, that indicates that we have become a minority.

Of course, humans are not perfect. But we only say that because we can never find two humans physically, mentally and emotionally alike to each other. Yes, I am not perfect if I were to use the definition of 'perfect' of another person, and yes, I am not perfect at all if I were to see myself from an enemy's eyesight. But, from my point of view, I am living my life the way I want it to be, with the companies I love and by doing the things I wanna do. Just perfect for me.

I just think if we are ready to accept the differences others have, then it would be a perfect condition for us to clear our minds. We can find that perfection within the assimilation of differences in each person we meet.