Okay. Great, I have just enough time to write something tonight.
You know, when I am alone, I think about a lot of things. Not necessarily those things have close relation to myself. Mostly it's about the things that I observe right from the start of the day until the time I call it a day.
From standing next to a guy wearing a Cartier watch in the LRT, to passing by the usual beggar sitting at the end of the staircase of Pasar Seni station, I observe the vast differences. Not only the difference of the environment of Dayabumi area compared to that of KLCC, but also the people: the races, nationalities, attires, way of life, etc.
Sometimes, I have this kind of perception towards people around me having observing them. Either good or bad or neither, it depends. But then, normally, when we observe things, we tend to forget to observe one thing equally, perhaps more importantly than the rest of the things we can see and evaluate in our sight. Yes, it's ourselves.
Most of the time, I perceive nothing is wrong with me. Nothing is wrong as in I watch what I eat, I manage my cashflow, I do brisk walking everyday (as a reason to stay away from the gym!), make sure that I am on time for work, keep my face away from pimples and blackheads, keep in close touch with my good friends and my other half, less of fooling around, do beneficial things for myself.. and the list goes on.. completely normal.
But at times, I try to observe myself from the eyes of other people. As in, If I were a guy, would I date a girl like myself? Or, i I was another girl, what would I (as in that another girl) think of (the present) me? Or, at times when I actually am fidgeting, and I try to cover it, and when I thought I could manage it, can people still see that I am fidgeting?
Someone will probably reply me "Ah, why should you care about what others think of you.. People will love you only when you love yourself first.." Hmm.. is it true? Most of the time, I face the pain of hating people who love themselves too much they forgot to think of other people around them.
But, has any of us realize, sometimes we hate others because they do things different from our paradigm or mindset..? The fact that it is hard to accept others' difference of paradigms, purpose and principles. Each of us may want to prove who is the best by competing, showing off, debating, etc. in which none of us wants to lose in any of those, because when we lose, that indicates that we have become a minority.
Of course, humans are not perfect. But we only say that because we can never find two humans physically, mentally and emotionally alike to each other. Yes, I am not perfect if I were to use the definition of 'perfect' of another person, and yes, I am not perfect at all if I were to see myself from an enemy's eyesight. But, from my point of view, I am living my life the way I want it to be, with the companies I love and by doing the things I wanna do. Just perfect for me.
I just think if we are ready to accept the differences others have, then it would be a perfect condition for us to clear our minds. We can find that perfection within the assimilation of differences in each person we meet.