Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Au revoir Petronas!

What.. my last post was in January?? Seriously I thought I last wrote in March. Duh, how can I forget..? Well it's not so surprising cuz after having Fahim, it seems there are too many clouds in my head. Asyik lupa je. I know I should be taking supplements to help myself.. but I'm not that religious in keeping up with the doses everyday.. (-_-!)

So.. Ok.. let's start writing again..

I really didn't know that I do have readers amongst my officemates (wait, WHAT!!) If I knew, I would've written more, haha! Oh well, I have more time at home now; perhaps I should continue writing.

So.. hmmh.. this week witnessed the beginning of my life as a home maker. Did I hear someone say I'm kidding?? No I'm not. I'm officially jobless now (well, I still have time to retract my resignation, but I don't think I will) but it seems that I'm still busy with my to-do list. Things to shop before I fly, selling off my Black Beauty (sedih betul di hujung hati ni..), attending to Fahim who seems more clingy than Zara was before, and a few more things that I can't seem to remember.. (see.. cloudy mind again..)

Oh well, the idea to exit Petronas didn't come in a wink; it started longer than a year ago.. when I was offered a better paying job outside. But then, suddenly I found out that I was pregnant.. so I didn't think it was a good idea to wave goodbye to Petronas as yet.. I continued to stay, telling myself I'll give myself another year..

Then, end of 2013 I had Fahim.. and went on MC+maternity leave+MC (again!)+ AL that totaled up to 3 months. Upon returning to the office for 2 weeks, we (myself+hubby+Zara+Fahim) flew to London for a job that I was assigned to. The thought of exiting Petronas came again.. and at that time a few headhunters called me up, asking if I was interested to venture outside of my comfort zone. I was sooo ready for it. So damn ready.

A couple of weeks after coming back from London, I was offered a position in a competitor consultancy firm for a position as a senior consultant, in the field of work that I love. I was soo looking forward for it. Told my husband my excitement. He was equally excited for me. One thing about my husband, he is always supportive of what I am doing - I love you, Yang :) (and I think he is also tired of listening to my rantings and complaints about my workplace.. the distorted system, the dysfunctional line of reporting.. and all that's in the list)

Little that we know.. Allah has other plans for us..

A day after I got the offer, my husband was offered a position in Dubai. I didn't really know what to feel at that time, as I was so mixed up. Couldn't really think it through.. again, the cloudy mind thingy. I consulted my friends and my parents too. Feeling frustrated, angry, helpless, trying to act I-could-be-the-supermom... I was actually so prepared to leave my job for another job..

..But He is the best planner of all..

I talked it though with my husband.. detailing our finances, our pros and cons, our visions, our wishes, our wants in life.. and looking at our kids, I know they can not stand their parents being apart. Zara is growing fonder of her Papa after seeing Fahim being so attached to Mama, and that when my husband left for Dubai, it is really apparent that she misses him so much. I really pity her.. but what to do. We'll just wait for the time to arrive.

So, on 22nd April 2014, I tendered my resignation.

Au Revoir Petronas..

It was much to my superiors' dismay.. my immediate superior asking me over and over again if I could change my decision. I might not leave if I was offered a non-traveling-just-stay-in-Dubai position, but that will not happen, since my work outfit is meant to be mobile. Family's interest comes first. I have to decline.

Oh well..

It is not easy leaving beloved friends behind. Friends who were there for you through thick and thin, through sweat and tears.. friends who were so supportive in each other's development as engineers and mothers and wives. But goodbyes are real.

Goodbye is such sweet sorrow. Even Shakespeare acknowledged.

Maybe a few of you might be wondering, what am I gonna do after being a home-maker? Well, that's not for anyone to wander yet. I'll choose. And for whatever I'll choose, I'm not answerable to anyone except Allah. I do have a few plans in mind.

This is my time to be excellent again :)

Oh ya, just follow my instagram for quicker updates. It's ladyrora. Heh.

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