"Yeah I feel you.. uhuh.. (continues to listen).. uhuh.."
Understand. I think this word is very much often understated.
To understand is really essential as a part of communicating with people. Not only that being understanding shows that we care, it is also imperative in order to have a smooth message flow, without having ambiguities in it.
To understand, at times does not require us to also participate in the talking. All we have to do is listen and pay attention to what is being communicated: the gestures, the body language, the face mimics, the voice tone, besides the words being said. Keeping quiet does not really mean that one is not interested in the topic, but more so, different people have different ways and capacity in understanding and perceiving messages. Some prefer just to listen and withhold the comments. Some understand slower than the others. Therefore, if a message being sent is received and being responded to a little later, the person sending the message should not quickly jump to a conclusion that there is a misunderstood conflict just because the other person replies to him longer than he expected.
Gestures show the intensity of the feeling the person who expresses it. Not all people have the ability to easily understand non-verbal actions. Well, to me, it requires practice, and lotsa reading too. Because only when you understand others can you relate to them. To further understand, personally I think, asking more and more questions would help. There are many ways to understand others. Just reach out and get to know more of those who communicate with us.
At times, I thought I can easily understand people when they tell me their problems. To a certain extent, because I feel that I am a welcoming person, I don't really mind people coming to me and discuss a word or two, or share some perspectives of life in which I strongly admit is the most interesting topic to be talked about, always. Of all my close friends, I might understand Dib the most, as we shared lotsa life background and past stories. Definitely that helped us communicating, and that if we feel that we have mistaken the message, we would immediately check to find out each others' understanding on what was being talked about. Or perhaps girl-to-girl friendship is usually like that? I dunno.. maybe.
Nevertheless, I think the hardest person to be understood is the one closest to the heart. In conflicts, though we know them thoroughly, it is still hard for us to understand their situation, especially when both parties are in the middle of a cold war. That is when conflicts arise: when neither side wants to understand, because they feel they are not being understood, so it is kinda unfair for them to understand the other party. Huh.. is my description of the scene correct?
As far as I see it, understanding is far than just listening, nodding your head, with some 'yeah.. yeah, I understand..' sentences, and continuing to listen with crooked eyebrows. It requires reflecting, having empathy, trying to put ourselves in their shoes, and the decision of approving or disapproving the act or behavior of that particular person, among other actions that I may have not thought of here..
I think if one wants to be understood, one has to learn to understand too. I would not wanna understand you if you do not want to understand me, although understanding you might be easier for me compared to otherwise. You may never fully understand me; at least you can put yourself in my shoes and try to relate. At least that would be of help. I think so.