Danger: Emotional Alert! Haha.

I have always wanted to know where my readers come from. And because of the advancement in real time online tracking, I am able to track where my readers come from. Yes, it is nice to know that my blog is being visited, even by people whom I don't know. I sometimes wonder, which friend is it that I have in Brighton (well, cousin Alisa used to study there.. but that was like 2 years before), Singapore (Tan Su Yi kah?), Saudi (let me guess, Zaim?) and Japan (I suppose it's Fiqah). I just wanna say thanks for spending the time browsing though my posts :).

How do I know some of my readers? Well, some are constant commentors (like En. Dayat!), some friends (who are usually bloggers too) told me that they came across my blog and expressed their views about my posts, and some friends gave some hints that they have read this blog by giving me some hints, e.g. you love fried chicken, don't you? And I will wonder like, err.. when did I give that information away verbally..? Hmm.. The pulling down part is that, when I know my readers, I tend to restrict whatever I am writing so as not to write things that may be discomforting to them. As a result: depressed blogger! haha. Less of self expression.

For almost two years, I no longer engage in diary-writing (except during new year's eve), cuz when I read back my diary posts, it all seemed to be quite emotional (it's easier expressing my emotions on paper, than with people, nanti kena label as drama queen. Tak macho la kan..), and I don't prefer that sort of feeling. And I have thrown lotsa them into the dustbin. In short, waste of my time. So no, I avoid going near to fancy diaries when I step into Kino or MPH.

Speaking about being emotional, lately I sense the huge impact of emotions on me. You know, I guess the "9 nafsu 1 akal" thingy is taking over me. Nafsu, in my understanding after reading a few opinions (mentioned by Saifulislam and demipena in their websites) does not really link to lust or desire or whatever synonyms that it has, but more to the emotion matters. I asked a few of my close girlfriends before, do they feel that, and they said it's affirmative. It's not that I'm trying to deny the womanish development inside me, but it does feel awkward (and tak best jugak!). Why? Because I adore those whom are more logical than emotional. Maybe it's the ego thingy, or maybe the adapting process is slow. And because my emotional side is developing, I pity my fiance who has to get used to the emotional turbulence I had recently. Believe me, I am adapting as well! It's rather weird you know.

Perhaps I should finish reading that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (sebenarnya malas nak habiskan.. tapi Robert Kiyosaki said those who don't wanna learn more are ignorant people. No, Sharifah is not ignorant!) to better understand women (as well as men). It should help me in dealing with my loved ones, and friends and colleagues.

I've got a wedding tomorrow to attend in Putrajaya (congrats Syikin and Amri!) and after that, I'll head to Jalan TAR, kikiki.. mencari kain! And Monday to Wednesday, BOSET with Yatt, Caah, Nazrol and Shafaf! May we survive.. (cey, the scaredy-cat me!)