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Friday, July 17, 2009

Forgive and forget?

2 weeks in Kerteh and now I'm back in KL for a while. A rough start in Kerteh: missing luggage and the emergence of a larger-than-a-dinosaur pimple on my forehead. Anyway, having my work completed 1 week ahead of schedule and getting a closer look on the plant instruments were definitely the cure.. apart from the nice small dinner I had with one of my best chums Nadi on my last night there. This weekend Ozal will be back home, since on this coming Monday he won't be having any classes. I'm thinking of what to do this weekend. I don't expect myself to watch Harry Potter that soon, because it is expected that the cinemas will definitely be flocked, and I don't really enjoy big crowds, especially on weekends. Nevertheless, I am foreseeing that Ozal might drag us to watch the movie.

During the dinner, among the topics that Nadi and I touched were about seeking apologies and being forgiving. I told her about a few stories, painful to the heart, that I am still unable to forgive and forget. One of the reasons: there were no apologies sought, and because of that, I am unable to forgive. Perhaps in those particular cases, I believe forgiveness does not come for free. It should be asked for. Especially when the occasions involve heart matters. It's not the same like one freeingly forgive a neighbor's offspring for breaking one's flower pot. The damage is not the same as the damage done to the heart. It leaves permanent scar inside.

I quote Fairuz's favorite tagline: Treat others like you wanna be treated. If the 'treat others' fails, then definitely 'like you wanna be treated' is just for us to dream about.

Walking through my life, I have seen too many incidents around me that were so damn impossible to forgive, that sometimes led to vengeance. I can totally understand why, because they did not involve the heart alone, but also pride and family ties. And because forgiveness was too seldom to be sought for, the ties just dissolved with time.

I have seen people begging for forgiveness, and eventually repeat the same old attitude again. What's worst is that they influence other people to hate the wronged person. Because of that, I tend to identify people around me as being trustworthy or otherwise. Because of that too, I tend to warn my family and friends acquanting with those of that type to be careful. It may sound paranoid, but I just wanna protect my beloved from being offended, or lied to, or heartbroken.

I do believe in the phrase 'once bitten, twice shy'. Perhaps there are former acquaintances that I don't wanna keep in touch with anymore. If they can't think of a reason why, may be the most likely case is that I was been incised by them. I love my heart, and I constantly make sure that it doesn't bleed. Perhaps in time it will heal, even though they never really say sorry to make things better. Perhaps they have forgotten what they have done, and that's why I'll just shy away and will not highlight things anymore. It's called "healing myself".

I know some will say 'sedangkan Nabi ampunkan umatnya'. Well, it takes a great deal to be a great human like the Prophet (pbuh). Allah's guidance to seek peace in mind, soul and heart is the only help I always ask for.

Oh yeah friends, do not advise me, unless I ask you to. The best thing to do is to send me tapes of sermons or books by Islamic scholars. That will be better :)

P/S: Kailua, I know who you are.

8 comments:

desh said...

Heavy stuff

desh said...

Lite stuff.
Ira,

Talking about Harry Potter which one is your favourite?
Well mine is the one before the Order of the Phoenix.
What is it called? The one with the French school girls and Russians all boys school. And dragons, underwater mermaid.
Oh yeah. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

And the worst kind of Harry Potter.
The one when Harry faced his teenage crisis.
And the one with that stupid denial Ministry/Government.
The one with Ministry Of Lame Magic's with a that so called magic library/storage room.
I bet UTP's library is more astounding than theirs. It really does.
Order of the Phoenix (2007)

Sharifah Zahira Syed Iedin said...

Yerp, that HP and goblet of fire was definitely the best! but i wish the story wud compare how that bulgarian guy, the graceful girl and harry fought the dragon. baru la nmpk persaingan yg sihat. sb i suppose that bulgarian guy shud fight the dragon dgn machonya, if compared to harry, yg lebih to defense type of battle.

i xlike the story yg masa harry 1st jumpa sirius black tu. boring gile.

desh said...

The one with that skinny werewolf eh? Hahaha

Sharifah Zahira Syed Iedin said...

i think so.. that werewolf was a disppointment, having seen other werewolves yg lebih dahsyat, mcm dlm cerita Van Helsing, that prof Lupin's werewolf hide was not so impressive..

cey, kritik je tau.. kang suh buat movie sendiri terpeleot ira! haha.

desh said...

Where are all your friends anyway?

Masalahnya kan. Van Helsing keluar dulu. Lepas tu dalam sebulan kot baru keluar cerita Barry Potter.
Bila ada comparison tu yang bagi masalah sikit nak impress penonton.
Hehehe. Bad timing for the werewolf.

And don't be so hard on yourself. :)
Sebenarnya penonton boleh compensate. Kalau filem budget rendah macam filem Syamsul Haslam penonton boleh terima kalau tak best sangat. Sama juga B grade film macam Dragonball Evolution. Sepatutnya boleh tolerate sebab budget murah.

But for 200mil movie like Transformers 2, we should expect more.
More drama.
More character development.

When the Constructicons came I thought "This is it". This would be the climax. The final battle between Autobots ad Decepticons.
15 minutes later I felt like crying.

Then I realize that this film is about "human". The robots are just the expensive CGI with supporting acting roles that are meant to die by a few rounds of military rail gun.

"Human being" there are a self-centered creature. Hahaha

Sharifah Zahira Syed Iedin said...

well, thats y everytime my bro wants to watch a movie yg penuh cgi, i xnak pergi tgk. sb if KRU has bigger budget, they can also do wonders, if not to hollywood std, 60% there la kut..

i love watching cartoons, sb byk human elements, sad, love, enthusiasm.. kalau cgi, it's so digital la.. live or die.

my frens mungkin suka i tulis psl lawak kut.. hal2 serious ni, diorg malas nak campur, which i like, haha.

(kan da awal2 warning, jgn bagi nasihat, which some of them are so prone to do, huhuhu)

desh said...

Diorang suka bagi nasihat ke?
:))

Ira.
I tak suka bagi nasihat.
Kakaka.

Kata Kiyosaki:
Life is a cruel teacher.
It punish you first.
Then it teach you the lesson.

Which I sometimes apply to my son and my 2 sisters.
Which is very contradict to my mother. Hehe